When nothing else fits
by hummergrey
Summary: Wheeljack experiments, Twin pranks, Barricade, Decepticon drones, Prime problems, Ironhide and Chromia coupling, Annabelle, and Mikeala a nurse to Simmons? Short, funny adventure stories to make you smile. Rated T for suggestive elements, robotic swearing
1. Chapter 1 Ironhide

Author's Notes: Welcome to the short and funny world of Transformers and humans. These are drabbles. Drabbles are "an extremely short work of fiction exactly one hundred words in length, although the term is often incorrectly used to indicate a short story of fewer than 1000 words."

These "drabbles" will be exactly one hundred words. Use whatever term you want but _here_ they are 100 words long. The important part is they are funny (I hope) and unique. Think of it as your smile for today.

This is rated T. Meaning suitable for teens, 13 years and older, with some violence, (battles and the Decepticons) minor coarse language, (Cybertron swearing) and minor suggestive adult themes. (Ironhide and Chromia) You will see far worse in most PG-13 movies and video games, Transformers movie verse included. Chapter 1 - Ironhide.

**Drabble 1**

"We can do this the easy way," Ironhide began, aiming directly at the cassette drones.

"We surrender?" Rumble guessed, glancing over at Ravage. Neither Decepticon wanted to face Megatron with another mission failure but he wasn't there. The black hulking weapon specialist and his war cannons were. At least they would get medical treatment and energon in the brig.

"You can. Or the really easy way," Ironhide smirked.

"Which is?"

"You move and I blow you away. No reports to fill out," Ironhide explained. Later he complained to Prime that they always surrendered. Why him?

**Drabble 2 **

"It's Bumblebee," Arcee vented. "He is getting weapon modifications. Dual rotating cannons. I miss the fun, carefree youngling he was."

"All things mature with time," Optimus comforted.

"Not Sideswipe or Sunstreaker. Or their pranks."

"What now?"

"They snuck bright blue paint into the wash racks and welded part attachments onto Ironhide while he recharged. Made him into a giant sized remote controlled monster truck toy," she explained.

"That explains Wheelie's request earlier to borrow my ion rifle," Optimus chuckled.

"Copying is the sincerest form of flattery," she giggled, sharing the photo image.

**Drabble 3 **

"You could have been offlined," Optimus stated.

"Mission profile said parts delivery not Starscream appearing," Ironhide challenged, armor bent and charred. "Offline I'd had a peaceful rest."

::Not me:: Bumblebee sent, flashes of worry and fear mingled in his comm.

"Evil goes to the pit, not the Well of Sparks," Optimus comforted. "You are safe there among friends."

::Not for me! Arcee would hunt me down there to blast me for getting offlined! Wait until she finds out about this! :: Bumblebee.

"I just did," Arcee's voice stated from behind them.

::Oh pit:: Bumblebee


	2. Chapter 2 Defy, Mikeala and forgiven

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. Drabble 5 takes place post Dark of the Moon. Drabble 6 is part 2 of the Bee and Arcee arc. And I hope your day is going good. Or at least a little better post reading. For longer laughs, please read my fics _If an Autobot Do Not Do the Following part 1 and 2. _Otherwise stay tuned, more to come. And as always, if anyone wants to expand or use any of these into a longer fic or story of their own feel free. Please credit me here and send me the link to enjoy your story. I can always use more fan fic friends. Onward to life creating relationships we could never foresee.

**Drabble 4**

"And if they ask us to leave?" Ironhide challenged.

"We would leave," Optimus affirmed.

"You would abandon this world to the Decepticons?" Prowl gasped, his wing doors stiffening with shock.

"I said leave. I never said stay away," he answered. "I will do what is necessary to prevent this world from suffering Cybertron's fate while balancing our relations with the humans. They do not understand consequences. And it would not be the first time I defied command authority."

"The first being sneaking out of your playpen as a sparkling?" Ratchet teased, knowing that story.

**Drabble 5**

Mikeala sighed, smoothing out her white care attendant uniform again. "I need the extra money. Not my fault dad nearly burns down our shop or the insurance is taking forever to send a check. Just help feed and care for an injured person in their own home." She rang the doorbell, her assignment papers in hand.

Ten minutes later she hesitated between fleeing out the door and ripping it off the hinges to beat the wheelchair bound man in front of her.

"Well, if it ain't the hot little criminal," Simmons smirked, his leg cast pointing her direction.

**Drabble 6**

"What were you processing? Starscream is dangerous!" Arcee raved.

::He attacked us out of nowhere:: Bumblebee tried explaining.

"You're our best scout! And Starscream _caught_ you by surprise?"

::Best? Really? I processed you were disappointed in me:: the yellow scout scuffed one footpad across the floor, helm down.

"Worried, upset but not disappointed Bee. You are not a youngling."

::Wish I was. I miss being cuddled and warmed by another spark when I hurt::He crooned.

"Come here, you're forgiven" she hugged him close.

::For getting hurt or stepping on your favorite antique subsurface probe?::

"WHAT!"


	3. Chapter 3 Prime tires and trains

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews and encouraging words. No, this will _not_ be a daily posting, just on a roll right now. Sorry, no Bumblebee and Arcee this chapter. They will return as many others also will appear. Theme – Medical needs.

**Drabble 7**

"Too many tickets," Flareup admitted sheepishly.

"You don't get speeding tickets on Cybertron," Sunstreaker reminded.

"Repair tickets. No bot cares how fast until you can't stop. Medical thought my self-survival codes had a glitch," she said. "Threatened a total rescan next accident. Then the war increased and I didn't have time to race."

"If I said you make my engine race would you rev it for me?" Sideswipe teased.

"Mine too?" Sunstreaker added.

When Ratchet arrived on scene he groaned. "A train? How could you three hit something that big? Slagging speeding glitches!"

**Drabble 8**

:: We need to reassure the soldiers:: Bumblebee sent, firing his arm cannon.

:: Why? They're in no danger of being offlined:: Ironhide grumbled, ducking back behind the partially blasted wall as mortars hit.

:: Offlined? These drones are sparkless and slow:: Ratchet snapped, firing and destroying two.

:: No, facing Prime and Lennox for triggering this attack. After we told them not to move, and they did!:: Bumblebee continued.

Ironhide grunted, rolling upright and firing. Sliding back down, he held up three black armored fingers triumphantly towards the medic.

:: 114. Parts you need repairing. Try matching that:: Ratchet

**Drabble 9**

"How about a bath?" Simmons smirked, leaning back to see Mikeala.

"As you wish," she purred, turning towards the right and the pool instead of the house. Pushing hard, she slammed the wheelchair into the cement edge, catapulting him into the water. In fairness, she would have rescued him before drowning.

He floundered before standing up, dripping wet, the pool water barely waist high. "Conserve water, designed it four feet deep. And now," he grinned evilly. "You can help me undress and get into dry clothes. And rewrap my cast with those clever hands of yours."

**Drabble 10**

"One blast," Optimus mourned, looking down at the smoking debris of his lower frame. Or rather his simulated tires. The battle armor had held, throwing off Ramjet's blast but they had slagged like ice cream in the hot sun. "Are those Bumblebee's?"

"Nope. Interchangeable emergency spare tires for you Prime. No other bot fits your size with the transforms. Ironhide or Ratchet are closer but...," Hound trailed off.

"They are not here," Optimus vented deeply.

"It's Murphy's Law," Arcee said.

"What does that have to do with it?"

"Interchangeable parts aren't," she quoted.


	4. Chapter 4 Annabelle testing, Prime sings

Author's notes: Thanks for the reviews and adding this to favorite stories and author alerts. More glimpses into the life of the Transformers and their allies. Pyxis is the OC sparkling by Optimus and Elita One from the fics _If an Autobot do not do the following_ and _Elita's Revenge_. Song referenced is "_Goodnight sweetheart_" by the Spaniels from 1954. Google it for fun and imagine Optimus Prime singing it.

Drabble 11

Annabelle's cheery voice drew his attention to them. "Look daddy. We planted a redwood. It will grow up big and strong." The young girl pointed at the tiny sapling, its brown stem barely thicker than her delicate fingers with three puffs of green for branches.

"A redwood? Don't they take over four hundred years to grow and reach full height?"

"Humph, my last pump replacement is older than that," Ironhide grunted. "Humans focus on the wrong things."

Will nodded, changing his mind. His reports could wait, his daughter needed more time with her father. Life continued.

Drabble 12

"Gears! What is all that?" Hound's voice stopped the red and blue mini-bot in his tracks.

"It was free," he grinned, carrying bent cardboard boxes full of plastic lids, odd toys and nick knacks.

"Free?"

"Humans sell at garage sales but there are boxes of free stuff outside for whoever wants it," Gears answered, his odd desire for collecting human stuff temporarily satisfied.

"They give it away?" The green scout pondered.

One week later Optimus confronted them, their arms full of boxes. "Why?"

"It was free!"

"Free?" Optimus repeated, his look speculative.

Drabble 13

"Do you believe in luck?" Sam asked.

The softly spoken question had Bumblebee's attention. ::Autobots do not. Fate or Primus' will or destiny but not luck:: He texted onto Sam's cellphone.

"I do. Good luck was meeting Carly. Bad luck is the minor explosive we borrowed from Wheeljack blowing apart the wash racks. And him of all bots to be there! Some prank."

Heavy metal footsteps sounded nearby and they stilled, barely breathing in the darkened space. Optimus peered under the recharge bunk at them. "Lucky I found you first. Sunstreaker is still raving about his paint."

Drabble 14

Will sighed, pulling his wife closer on the bench.

"Would you relax?" She comforted. "Ironhide knows what he is doing."

"He could have told us before this. I understand how it happened when they are so close. But we are her parents. He should have asked."

"Would you have told him no?" Sarah asked.

"I would have reminded she is human."

They quieted as Annabelle moved. Bowing, she stepped forward into the first fighting stance. Prowl and Optimus watched, ready to correct as she completed her test for third rank in the Autobot fighting style.

Drabble 15

Optimus confirmed they were alone under the moonlight. Cradled on his arm, Pyxis clicked softly, tired and cranky as the sparkling recharge protocols refused to engage. "I blame Jazz for this," Optimus grumbled before his regal baritone voice deepened, the music from his speakers filling the night air as he sang.

_Goodnight sweetheart_

_Till we meet tomorrow_

_Goodnight sweetheart_

_Sleep will vanish sorrow_

_Goodnight sweetheart_

_Still my love will guide you_

_Dreams will enfold you_

_In each one I'll hold you_

Inside the communications hangar the humans watched the security footage avidly. "Better than Dean Martin," Lennox sighed.


	5. Chapter 5 Fast wheelchairs and honey

Author's notes: Thanks for the reviews and adding story alert to stay tuned. You keep reviewing, I'll keep writing. That way I know what you like or want. And more Arcee, Bee and Mikeala, Simmons per reader requests. Some drabbles take a little bit of thought or have inside jokes. Like last chapter drabble # 13 being about luck when so many consider # 13 unlucky. Hard to fit it all in under 100 words. Have a great weekend and get ready for winter coming. Not much good weather left.

**Drabble 16**

Ultra Magnus vented, checking his speed limit. The flashing lights behind his car carrier alt mode confirming the worse. He was busted. Pulling over, his holographic driver flickered into place as the police officer pulled his black and white patrol car behind then stepped out, approaching confidently. Registration and licensing was handed over.

"You were speeding. License plates are expired Mr...Mike Convoy. You need to up the date Commander," he stated.

"Prowl?" He suddenly realized.

"Who else? I tagged Prime for the same thing," the hologram grinned.

"Pull over Megatron and I'll be impressed," Magnus grumbled.

**Drabble 17**

"The city park is next block over," Simmons reminded.

Walking alongside, Mikeala resisted the urge to snap at him. 'I know the only reason we do this is to show me off publicly as his attendant. But I fixed that.' She walked faster, knowing he would up the speed on his electric wheelchair.

A click, the revving of an engine and he raced by her screaming. Yelling, he barely avoided the cars on the street as he zoomed down the middle of the road.

"I tuned your engine!" She yelled. "Careful of the brakes! They're kinda tight!"

**Drabble 18**

"Recharge anywhere femme?" Arcee grumbled, sitting up slowly in the brightening sunrise. "Too tired for my quarters. Battle all day, slag those twins for their pranks all evening!" Shifting, her footpad jostled the energon cube. Traces of a familiar energy signature remained. "Did he guard me all night?"

Walking into the communications hanger, she glared at the twins before spotting him. "Hold it mech." Leaning down, she hugged Bumblebee. "Thank you," she whispered then left as they stared.

::While honey lives in every flower it takes a bee to get the honey out:: Bumblebee sent.


	6. Chapter 6 Guns, squirrels, and singing

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. This time, even Decepticons get in on the fun and yes, they will be appearing more. Hopefully these drabbles are long enough to bring a chuckle without the perplexed huh I don't get it response. Theme: Being true to you, even if no one else understands.

**Drabble 19**

"Chromia, I am spark mated. As are you. Go find Ironhide," Optimus regal baritone voice, containing the barest hint of warning, caught Elita's instant attention. Standing outside his office door, she detected two energy signatures inside.

"I just want to run my hands over it," Chromia's voice pleaded.

"No. It isn't yours to touch."

"But it's so big."

"No! Femme! Hands off!"

Furious, Elita kicked the door open before pausing at Chromia cradling Optimus' ion rifle.

"I can't resist big guns," she purred, stepping around the desk to keep them from taking the weapon.

**Drabble 20**

"Those animals are Decepticon agents!" Red Alert raved.

"Animals? Small furry non-sentient earth born animals?" Prowl tried reasoning.

"They always run out in front of me! Me! All that road! Twenty four hours and the exact time I'm driving they choose then? Look at my front!" the red mech gestured towards his mangled bumper and crunched front fenders.

"You hit one?"

"A tree. It made me crash!"

"You're being paranoid."

Down the road Rumble crouched over the scanner. "Get ready. Another Autobot is coming." Ravage moved, releasing another squirrel drone from the crate.

**Drabble 21**

Picking a leaf out of Simmons hair Mikeala grumbled mentally. 'Does nothing kill him? He survives the Decepticons, jumping out of a moving vehicle and crashing from a speeding wheelchair. Really? Landing in a giant pile of leaves the city pulled from the park.'

"Did you see me?" He enthused, ignoring her silence. "Like old times I tell you. I use to be the best winter hill sledder fall leaf pile jumper summer swimmer in my neighborhood! Ho boy. Seymour Simmons still has it. Change of clothes and I'm ready. The blue spandex speedo today if you please."

**Drabble 22**

"The stars at night... are big and bright," Cliffjumper sang out in the middle of the NEST hangar.

"Deep in the heart of Texas," the soldiers sang back.

"Told ya. It's a human thing. Now pay up," the red mini bot said, facing the other mechs.

Grumbling, Ironhide and Prowl transferred over the credits for their bet, never knowing those soldiers were recently transferred from the Midwest.

A hangar away, Sergeant Epps glanced at the newly arriving e-mail. "Is Prowl serious?"

"Do not encourage spontaneous human sing alongs," Major Lennox read. "Gotta wonder why."


	7. Chapter 7 Rewards and in trouble

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. And the fun continues with Prowl pulling over another bot, in a post DOTM setting, obviously by the alt mode reference. Drabble 23 per botosphere's request and Drabble 25 is a two parter. But you can see the fun coming. You have to love protective big bad mechs.

**Drabble 23**

"You did what?"

"Now Ironhide," Wheeljack began, backing away.

"Are you pit slagged? You gave Annabelle a mini plasma cannon? She's human!" the black armored mech roared angrily.

"I made it small and added a bracelet keypad to call it out of subspace."

"WHY?"

"She passed her third rank martial arts test. Standard reward is a weapons upgrade and...," the civilian inventor tried explaining.

"I'll standard you! What safety lock did you put on it?" Ironhide growled.

"Safety?"

BOOM!

The outside explosion rattled the windows as Wheeljack winced. "Uh, I forgot?"

**Drabble 24**

"Pit!" Megatron swore, the tingling attack killing his engine. Systems locked, the truck rolled to the side of the road. Human drivers honked, swerving out and around as flashing lights appeared.

"Barricade? That fool...no. Oh no."

The black and white cruiser parked, the officer approaching. "Don't waste your energy. The stun blast will last approximately two point four breems. You were speeding, your license tags are missing and you need a holographic driver. Get them fixed," Prowl's hologram stated before walking back.

"Fixed? I'll rip your spark out and..." Megatron continued raving as Prowl rolled away.

**Drabble 25 **

"He's a lady killer," Captain Jorgensen said, her tone unhappy.

"I'm not going to be a trophy on his wall!" Tech Specialist Michelle exclaimed, scooping her files up in both arms.

"Major, why would such a glitch be allowed to remain online?" Ironhide asked as every female left the hangar when hearing the new liaison's name.

"One word, politics," Will ground out.

"Every case filed against him fails. Charges are always dropped or withdrawn," Epps added.

"He's here for two days. We can handle this," Will said without seeing the weapons appearing behind him.

**Drabble 26**

The three men in ominous black suits quickly cornered Sam in the parking lot. "You are to come with us. For questioning."

"Got a warrant?" Sam challenged.

"No."

"Then no, unless you want a fight."

"You and what army boy?"

"That one," Sam pointed over his shoulder.

"I see nothing but trees and parked cars. Enough stalling, let's go."

"Keep looking," he said. "The trees aren't what you should be worried about." Familiar sounds of transformation began, the three pulse signal he would recognize half asleep. "Say hello to my big friends."


	8. Chapter 8 Explanations

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews and requests. Amazing how a simple drabble can turn into an ongoing mini fic of its own. Some will be continuing while new drabbles will also be appearing. Onward to the fun.

**Drabble 27**

"I said I was sorry," the little girl pouted.

"Annabelle, it is not about apologizing," Will began. "You destroyed the liaison's car."

"Uh huh. I hit the target and it hit the gas drum and that explosion melted his car," she corrected.

"Youngling has a point," Ironhide added, ignoring their glares.

"This is Wheeljack's fault."

"I picked a plasma gun. Cause Ironhide got it for Bee which meant it was the bestest. Cannons are for heroes like you and Ironhide daddy."

"Hero?" Will repeated, then smiled. "The car's insured, and replaceable."

**Drabble 28**

"Ya did WHAT?" Jazz echoed, nearly spitting out the mouthful of energon. Resting on a chair in the recreation room, the black and white spy swallowed then stared.

"I said I pulled over Megatron for driving violations. After using Wheeljack's magnetic stunner on him," Prowl calmly repeated. "I had to neutralize him to make him listen. Using a vehicle alt mode means following earth's vehicle driving laws."

"Megatron? The _Decepticon_?"

"I believe I said that."

"You ticketed Megatron?" Jazz repeated dumbly.

"No. Warning only. Holograms don't carry ticket books."

"Oh. Good point."

**Drabble 29**

'I'm saved,' Sam thought contentedly. The three agents huddled together as the Autobots moved in. He smiled, remembering their first encounter with Sector Seven and how that had gone. And the adventures that followed.

"We can call backup," the lead agent bluffed, reaching for his cellphone with a shaking hand.

"Then do so. Perhaps they will be more reasonable in their requests for information," Optimus rumbled, bending down to be intimidating.

Familiar sounds of transformation began from the other parking lot.

"Decepticons!" Ironhide yelled, rolling his cannons as the others subspaced their weapons.

'I'm screwed,' Sam thought.


	9. Chapter 9 Deer and Con magnets

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. More laughter or at least wry grins. Drabble 32 is follow up to the three government agents confronting Sam as the Autobots transformed. "Say hello to my big friends."

**Drabble 30**

Optimus saw the bounding deer nearly too late. The brown silhouette, frozen in his alt mode headlights, sent his systems into overdrive. "NO!"

Brakes smoked, battle reflexes triggering his transform as he flipped onto his side, trying desperately to miss. He did, but not the curve in the road.

As the edge neared, the Prime felt an astro second of panic. "Slag! Ratchet's going to offline me!"

The distant thud of him hitting the canyon bottom had the mechs above wincing.

"Deer drone effective. Squirrel drone nonprofessional," Soundwave intoned, ignoring the cassettes muttering about losing the bet.

**Drabble 31**

"Barricade!"

The black and white shock trooper stopped immediately in the hallway, recognizing the anger in Megatron's voice without knowing the why. "Yes Lord Protector?"

"Don't call me that. That title died with Cybertron's ruling council. I offlined most of them myself," he sneered. "We need to focus on now. Do you ever pull over earth cars? Or Autobots? Ticket them for speeding or other earth nonsense?"

"Uh...no...not really?" he stuttered.

"Why not? You're a patrol car. Start doing your job mech!" Megatron ordered, leaving a very confused Decepticon standing there, jaw gears hanging.

**Drabble 32**

The battle was short and predictable. The Autobots took hits, the Decepticons lost and their survivors fled after Starscream. The human agents never moved, huddled in a little ball together on the pavement.

Sam swallowed, his throat raw from screaming for Optimus to come save him. He sagged against Bumblebee's yellow armored leg, breathing hard. "How did you know... the Decepticons... would... be here?"

"Sam, many of our race believe you are gifted," Optimus stated, subspacing his weapons away.

"Gifted? Me?"

"Best Con magnet Primus ever sparked. Can we go home now? Chromia's waiting," Ironhide grunted


	10. Chapter 10 Sunburn, Wheeljack watching

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. Drabble 33 will be continued though in a PG fashion. Read and you will understand the rating mention. Credit to reviewers for their ideas and comments. Theme: Watch your surroundings and what you are doing where.

**Drabble 33**

"Are you sure we're alone?"

Will smiled at Sarah's question, barely able to see his wife in the tropical darkness. "Yes. All alone and we've been apart too long," he kissed her, hands sliding her dress off.

Above them, Wheeljack instantly shut off his side bars as he watched. Human behavior fascinated him but rarely had the opportunity of observing it this intimately.

Falling to the sand, Sarah giggled. "Missed me soldier? What do I get?"

"You'll see stars," he teased, stripping off his shorts and moving closer.

'Are they?' the inventor gasped. 'Yes! Firsthand data!'

**Drabble 34**

"Your insistence on preserving life is going to offline you," Ratchet's sarcastic tones greeted Optimus as he pulled out of stasis.

"Ever hear of Bambi?" he countered.

"Ever hear of sensor scans? I reviewed the incident, after I removed two trees, boulder fragments and bent mattress springs from your chassis. That deer was a drone!" the CMO snapped.

"The twins?"

"Already asked. Not them." Ratchet welded another support strut. "I will find out who."

Returning to base two days later, he continued grumbling until a brown blur jumped in front of his alt mode.

**Drabble 35**

'Target acquired,' Barricade gloated. Silently, the Decepticon patrol car rolled up behind and waited.

::You! Pit spawn!:: Cliffjumper swore, suddenly registering the energy signature behind his alt mode. Heavy traffic on the city street prevented him from pulling out and racing away. Prime's orders on keeping cover kept him from transforming.

::Maybe. But you are in a no parking zone, blocking access to a fire hydrant. Because of the nearby humans I will let it pass this time:: he sent.

::Or?:: Cliffjumper snarled defiantly.

::Next time, get fined. For an Autobot, you disregard laws too easily:: Barricade chided, rolling away.

**Drabble 36**

"Nice color. Matches my lipstick," Mikeala snickered, empathizing with the painful sunburn even as it amused her. Simmons groaned, arms outstretched as he lay on his stomach.

"I hate the sun," he murmured.

"Not me. It was falling asleep by the pool that became the problem," she stated, searching among the different spray bottles. Her swimming suit had been the reason he stayed and watched. Someone had to appreciate her body.

"Whatever. Cool me off already."

"Applying the topical cream now," Mikeala said.

"OOOOOOWWWWWWW!"

"Oops. Spray sanitizer. You need to label these better."


	11. Chapter 11 Surprise events, names

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. The fun continues plus a twist you probably never saw though Wheeljack did. And credit to fellow writer Eowyn77 for allowing me to work with Drabble 39.

**Drabble 37**

"Hmm, you were right," Sarah murmured, resting on her husband's sweaty chest.

Chuckling, he kissed her softly. "About?"

"I saw flashes of light and felt the earth move."

"Hmm, me too," Will agreed, seeing little in the tropical darkness.

Wheeljack rebooted slowly, systems activating while lying prone on the sand. The awe of the moment left him powerless as the humans dressed and walked back towards the base.

His sidebars flashed with multiple colors. 'A new life will appear in nine months,' he processed. 'I saw its start. I must monitor through the entire process. Amazing.'

**Drabble 38**

"Recruits! Fall in to your new Autobot commanders when called," Major Lennox ordered.

::Is it me or are these not our usual soldiers?:: Ratchet sent.

::Seem a little rough:: Ironhide agreed.

"Michael Graves, Jonathon Patchy, and Benjamin Ripper report to Medical and CMO Ratchet," Will called out. The men jogged towards their new commander, never looking at the snickering twin mechs they passed.

"Tom Hunt and George Blasting report to Field Tactical and Ironhide. Dickinson King, Bruce Leader, Wayne Knight report to Command and Optimus Prime."

::Is it me or are is there a pattern?:: Ratchet sent.

**Drabble 39 **_(set approximately 3 – 4 days after Mission City battle)_

Secretary Keller extended the package towards the Autobots. "Gentlemen, a gift."

"What is it?" Ironhide puzzled.

"Uh…" The human had assumed they would know. "It's car wax."

Ratchet accepted and opened one can, taking a deep whiff. ::Carboxylic acid and fatty alcohols.::

::Biosynthesized by insects:: Optimus added, searching the web. ::Who process by excreting, chewing, and regurgitating the substance.::

Ironhide grumbled, "What the Pit are we supposed to do with this?"

Keller cleared his throat sheepishly. "Humans rub it all over a car body and then wipe it off."

Awkward silence.

Finally, diplomatically, Optimus said, "Thank you for your...human gift."

**Drabble 40 **

"Ratch, did ya have to catch it tha' way?" Ironhide grumbled, selecting a reinforced crowbar from the medical workbench.

"I hadn't _planned_ on hitting it," the medic grumbled, his voice oddly subdued in his alt mode. The deer drone mangled across his front assembly all too obvious.

"I knew it! I told you!" Red Alert gloated.

"Scrap it!" Ratchet ordered. "Hey!"

"Up you go!" Lifting Ratchet's alt mode onto the nearest medical berth, Optimus grinned. "You've put on weight dearest."

Groaning at the pun, the CMO refused to answer. Revenge would be his.


	12. Chapter 12 Seeing the smallest details

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews and the laughter. As a reminder, please do not eat or drink while reading. Thank you from the medical advisory committee and janitorial department. Now, back to the fun. Drabble 43 is part 2 of the lady killer from Drabble 25 in chapter 7. Drabble 44 is post DOTM.

**Drabble 41**

The key, Wheelie knew, was to prevent them from getting a good scan. Paint, a new alt mode and altered vocals would _not_ hide his spark signature. "Add shrapnel pieces loaded with metallic enhancers. Should block their scans."

He waited until Ironhide snuck off with Chromia then rolled towards Wheeljack's work area. "One loud smoky explosion coming up."

**_BOOM!_**

Rolling out, he pretended to choke. "Slag it Jack! Ah stuck in transform! Holy slag! Prime! You're huge!"

Optimus and Wheeljack could only stare in horror at the tiny black GMC top kick truck parked at their feetpads.

**Drabble 42**

"Sarah Lennox conceived a new life at exactly 10:43 pm last night. You need to tell her to maintain her health," Wheeljack duly informed Ratchet.

"How could you know that precisely?" He asked, optics narrowing.

"I watched and recorded the sequential event. Very fascinating how..."

"You watched! You voyeuristic ill mannered mech! Humans are sensitive about privacy and you WATCHED them mate?" Ratchet's roar filled the med bay.

"Yes."

"Jack, you didn't?" Ratchet groaned, sagging in his chair.

"The data is priceless."

"Only for research," he paused. "Send me a copy?"

**Drabble 43**

"Liaison Jay Tyndale. Temporary assignment only, per the President. Always a pleasure," he introduced himself, looking around for the women. Not spotting any among the soldiers, he began unpacking his briefcase. He would go hunting later.

Then Sarah Lennox walked in the side door, no one remembering to warn her.

"And who is this beauty?" He smiled.

"My femme, back off," Ironhide threatened, rolling his cannons. The other Autobots charged their weapons as protective protocols engaged.

"How about I fight you for her?" he jokingly challenged, before lunging her direction.

The Autobot weapons fired as one.

**Drabble 44 **

Carly blinked, feeling her chest squeeze painfully. Not as painfully as when Soundwave had trapped her but close. The tall blonde breathed again, then spoke. "He left me _how_ much?"

"Mr Gould, while negatively portrayed in the press," his lawyer stated. "Had a good heart."

'One the Autobots would have ripped out,' she thought but didn't say.

"He wanted you taken care of after his death. This sum," he tapped the papers again. "Ensures you never need to work again."

"Rightie then," her crisp British accent perfect as ever. "Where do I sign?"


	13. Chapter 13 Life is always changing

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. Yes! A supersize chapter (supersize for drabbles) as we hit # 50! Or is this too many drabbles at once? Let me know please what you think. Should I add short notes by the Drabble numbers like "Wheeljack Sarah pt 4" or keep them as they are? What works the best? Simple little one shots or ongoing storyline? Or a mix? Onward to life changing.

**Drabble 45**

"Primus allowed this for a reason."

"To prove you're unconsciously suicidal?" Ratchet stated. "Worse, you dragged me into this."

"Me? You're the one who wanted to study mating habits," Wheeljack grumbled. The civilian inventor sat on the medical berth, legs swinging back and forth human style.

"I asked Sam, Mikeala, Leo, Miles, and Carly and several others during my time here on earth. I got one yes. From Mikeala. You never asked!"

"How bad could it be?"

"From Sarah or Ironhide?"

"The femme? Why would she be a threat?"

"You really need to get out of the lab more Jack."

**Drabble 46**

"Come back!" Optimus yelled, stretching to grab the tiny black GMC. Wheelie raced between the crates, barely able to fit. Large armored fingers grazed the back of the frightened vehicle, pushing it further away. "We can fix this!"

'Pit! Fix me? Kill me for this prank! Where is Ironhide?' Engine revving, Wheelie shot out of the storage area and into the bright tropical sunlight. "There!" Sensors located the pair on the beach.

Optimus ran up as their chest plates were closing, the spark merge complete. Wheelie hid nearby.

"Ironhide? You're big!" Optimus exclaimed, startled.

"That's my line," Chromia purred.

"..."

**Drabble 47**

Mikeala could only stare at the large check. "There must be some mistake."

"No mistake," Simmons grinned, leaning forward, much as a man in a leg cast in a wheelchair could. "Think of it as an ...enlistment bonus."

"You want me to stay? But I hurt you," she sputtered.

"Hurt? Me? Hah! I've had worse! Got scars from all over the world, hunting big bad robots before you were old enough to wear handcuffs. I see potential kid."

"For?" Her wariness remained.

"Field agent. Undercover and good too! Strike back at the Cons through the humans they used?" Simmons offered.

**Drabble 48**

Ratchet towed the open energon trailer behind his alt mode without complaint. The rough road normally would have had him swearing, but not today. 'Trade you cubes for deer drones and repairs.'

More energon cubes bounced off as the trailer sunk nearly axle deep in the wide pothole. 'Plenty for your psycho boss.' Rolling away, Ratchet's sensors detected nothing but Red Alert had guaranteed they watched.

Minutes later, the Decepticons crouched, flew or walked out of hiding. "Hurry up!" Rumble ordered. "Before he comes back." Drinking greedily, his systems failed to detect the medically laced nannites dormant inside the fluid.

**Drabble 49 **

"Ratchet, I'm worried about Sam. He's troubled," Bumblebee began.

"With what the humans just went through, half the population is troubled," Ratchet snapped, tired from seemingly endless repairs after the invasion.

"He tore apart a stuffed toy. Found it in his apartment. Ripped the rabbit foot right off. He kicks his old car and keeps a boom stick nearby. I even found a gun by his bed," the young scout reported worriedly.

"Afraid he doesn't need you as guardian anymore?" Ratchet asked, and then kicked himself mentally.

"I'm afraid he is turning violent. I miss the geeky youngling," Bumblebee said.

**Drabble 50**

Carly spun the key in her hand, snorting as only Dylan Gould would gold plate it. The bank officer left, closing the vault door behind him. She hesitated, unsure of what could be in the safe deposit box. "One condition to accepting his money. I take possession of this. Whatever it is."

Breathing deeply, she opened the box. Inside lay a single hexagonal metal shape nestled among tissue paper and a note.

"_I was born crippled and mentally deficient. My father sacrificed everything to change that. My price was servitude to the Decepticons. Hold it, if you have the strength."_


	14. Chapter 14 If only you knew

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews and feedback. Drabble 53 refers to Bumblebee first meeting Sam and the resulting fight with Barricade to reveal themselves as Transformers.

**Drabble 51**

Optimus considered beating his helm on the nearest wall. Repeatedly. But the fragile earth materials would break and cleaning plaster out of his crevices remained low on his list. Unfortunately, dealing with errant officers was first.

"Monitor her for research," Ratchet continued explaining.

'Wheeljack has corrupted him,' Optimus processed then remembered. The medic had greeted Sam by announcing his desire for Mikeala. This situation looked worse. "It's Sarah's sparkling."

"She doesn't know yet. We were hoping you could tell her?" Wheeljack asked.

Maybe if he used a tank. The metal wouldn't bend under his helm, Optimus pondered.

**Drabble 52**

"This device," Mikeala pointed at the electronic case. "Can alter my voice to sound like...?"

"Anyone or anything needed. I once imitated Schwarzenegger for my girlfriend," Dutch grinned.

"Best money can buy," Simmons added, snapping the case close before awkwardly sliding it across the table at her. "Knock yourself out kiddo. Return tomorrow and show me what you got."

That evening, she couldn't resist a test. Halfway around the world, Sam Witwicky answered his cell. "Hello?"

"Hello boy," Megatron growled before the line disconnected. At home, Mikeala roared with laughter, in Megatron's voice.

**Drabble 53**

"Can your engines ever stall or clunk out?"

"Only with battle damage, or extreme age Sam," Optimus answered.

"Only? Remember that next repair visit," Ratchet grumpily reminded.

"Wait!" Sam held up his hand, his expression thoughtful. "When we hid from Barricade, you had trouble starting." Bumblebee ducked his head, not looking at anyone.

"Hid? When?" Ironhide growled.

::Barricade registered my spark signature. I choked my starter as warning before I attacked. It scared Sam:: Bumblebee admitted.

"Not! I was worried I paid four thousand dollars for a clunker."

::And now?::Bumblebee

"Priceless friend."

**Drabble 54**

Laserbeak pulled out of recharge, tanks full. 'Energon tastes sweeter when stolen. Dumb Autobot medic,' he processed, flexing his wings to move. Warning errors flashed across his HUD as weight unexpectedly pulled him backwards.

"What the pit?" Hopping awkwardly, he looked at his reflection in the metal wall. Helm same, body rounder with long narrow feet but his wings were wrong! Attached on either side to his aft? The wings touched in the center to arch to the floor in a prismatic array of colors.

The scream woke the others up instantly. "Hey! Who let the peacock in?"


	15. Chapter 15 Revenge, femmes and fun

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. Odd collection of this and that, all 100 words long. Drabble 56 is lady killer continued. Drabble 58 is Laserbeak, Ravage and Rumble. More to come.

**Drabble 55**

"She waited, trapped in her high tower. But help was on its way in a magical flying ship," Sam continued telling Annabelle. Behind him, Bumblebee gestured making flying whistling noises followed by deep roars and sounds of combat. The little girl waited breathlessly as the tale unfolded. "The evil madman watched the battle below, the shape changer hiding on his wall. And...break time. Girlfriend is here."

"Hi Carly!"

"Hi poppet. Faerie tales are not real life," she teased Annabelle, sitting beside her.

"Actually," Sam smirked. "I was telling her how we rescued you from Chicago."

**Drabble 56**

Officially it was a test of the Autobots offensive systems, per the liaison's demand, in an immediate demonstration. Unofficially they saved him a beating at Sarah's hands.

Medically, Ratchet recorded data on human reactions to proximity of Cybertronian weapons. Jolt's electro charge creating the most interesting result, muscle twitching and straight up hair.

"Too bad they missed," Will grinned. "Nominee for the Darwin Awards."

"Creep always finds a way out," Epps grumbled.

"Not this time. Optimus called dibs the second he regains consciousness."

"And Ironhide didn't?"

"He was busy blowing up the man's car."

**Drabble 57**

"Cliffjumper, what happened? Your energies are fluctuating like you've seen a matrix vision," Mirage commented.

"Barricade threatened..." The red mini bot sputtered angrily, transforming up. "To ticket me!"

"Ticket? A new weapon?"

"I parked in front of a fire hydrant and it's illegal type ticket," Cliffjumper snapped.

"He could have done worse," Prowl interrupted, coming up silently behind them. "I just received a comm from Mudflap and Skids. They encountered Barricade and ..."

"He blasted them!"

"Impounded. They resisted and have minor injuries. I am leaving to retrieve them. Be back shortly."

"Could be a trap."

"Speed trap?"

**Drabble 58**

Soundwave barely remembered feeling surprise or astonishment. It was understandable, when the door to his room opened, that the scene nearly glitched him. A miniature Sideswipe fighting with a metal peacock and a metal skunk would have confused any bot. The fact their energy signatures matched his cassettes was worse. "DESIST!"

"Boss?"

"Report," he ordered, making a note to run diagnostics. His vocal seemed oddly higher pitched.

"Problem! Problem!" the peacock crowed before its jaw gear dropped. "Nice aft."

"Hey! Show her respect!" Rumble ordered.

"Query? Not femme. Medic wouldn't."

"He did."


	16. Chapter 16 Cons, cuteness and challenges

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. Yes 100 reviews! Think we can get to 100 drabbles? Decepticons get in on the fun again and new stuff. Have a good night and sorry about the cliffhanger with Prowl. More to come.

**Drabble 59**

:They scan as toys:: Bumblebee texted. ::Acrylonitrile butadiene styrene, with nylon components, overlaid with acrylic paints::

"Then why do I find them," Sam pointed at the Transformer action figures on his shelf then the floor. "Scattered like they've been fighting?"

::They are not secretly nannite controlled drones:: Bumblebee affirmed. ::Keep the Autobots. Blast the Decepticons?::

"No, they are gifts from the President," Sam sighed. "Stuck with those."

::If it happens again, stay in my quarters to be safe:: Bumblebee

"Agreed. Let's go get lunch."

Passing Ironhide and Chromia in the hallway, they almost solved it.

**Drabble 60**

::My lab, fix:: Soundwave ordered, kneeling and reaching under the recharge bunk. Ravage shook his head, the white skunk stripe nearly invisible as he refused to budge.

"Fix huh? My arms are swords now! Not bad...oops. I'll pay for that," Rumble tried gathering the sliced pieces only to shred them further. Laserbeak laughed.

Then the door opened and the cassettes froze. Starscream stood there, red optics wide at the petite aft pointed his direction. The blue armored femme sat up quickly, glaring.

"Pretty spark. Come closer."

"Negative."

Then it clicked. "Soundwave? I'm telling Megatron!" Starscream screeched.

**Drabble 61**

Prowl surveyed the stunned mechs and the net they hung in with a rare surge of irritation. ::Coordinates reached. That's your idea of impound?::

::Would you prefer I pounded them into scrap? Or should I have sent them to their rooms!:: Barricade answered snidely.

::I prefer you leave law enforcement to the experts:: Prowl stated, freeing Skids and Mudflap while electronically relaying coordinates to Ratchet. Transforming and racing away, Prowl locked onto the signal.

::Or what? Epic clash of the enforcers?:: Barricade challenged as Prowl rolled into sight. Transforming, their black and white armor mirrored as they took defensive stances.

**Drabble 62**

"Why ...am I... under a table?" Carly's first coherent thought took seconds to form. She didn't remember getting drunk nor felt any pain from falling.

The next thought drowned under an influx of knowledge. The table's exact size, angle of the table legs, the geometrical space it covered down to the probable metal components in a language she didn't recognize but somehow understood.

Pulling herself to her feet, however unsteadily, Carly stared at the metal hexagon, not remembering having picked it up. "Strength to hold," she groaned. The meaning clear. Cybertronian knowledge, held in a fragile human brain.

TF TF TF TF TF TF TF TF TF TRANSFORMERS

_Author's notes: No, Carly did not touch an Allspark fragment _but something else_, soon to be revealed. Still TF canon. Stay tuned. _


	17. Chapter 17 Reporting and recovering

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews and comments. The best part of writing is making friends and inspiring someone else. Fellow writer SunlightOnTheWater has a new fic "Battle of the Cops" around Barricade and Prowl that is hilarious in chapter 1. Please check it out.

And no one guessed why Chromia and Ironhide with the action figures. This is rated T. Meaning suitable for teens, 13 years and older, with some violence, (battles and the Decepticons) minor coarse language, (Cybertron swearing) and minor suggestive adult themes. (Ironhide and Chromia). Onward to what you don't see is what gets you.

**Drabble 63**

"Can't wait hotspark?" Chromia teased as he grabbed her closer, optics bright in the darkened room.

Kicking the storeroom door shut, Ironhide grunted before smirking. "Always. But Ratchet's doing physicals."

Laughing, she opened the door, peering into the hallway. "No mad medic."

"Keep the door closed 'Mia!"

The slamming door vibrated the wall, shaking the shelf in Sam's base quarters. The replica Ironhide, cannon heavy, fell off the shelf being closest to the edge. The Optimus leader figure tipped backwards, unstable on its tiny feetpads.

Plastic wings outstretched, the Decepticons wobbled without falling, the larger weapons dragging their arms down.

**Drabble 64**

"Soundwave, explain why I was pulled out of recharge for this," Megatron ordered, gesturing.

"It's obvious Leader, he is a she! Femmes are hiding in our ranks!" Starscream screeched.

Soundwave remained still, recognizing the signs of a tired, grumpy leader.

KAWHOOM! The cannon blast threw the seeker across the room. "ENOUGH! I know _him_. Either you were experimenting again or your trans scan glitched?"

"Neither. Revenge prank."

"Prank? By who?" Megatron's optics narrowed dangerously.

"Medic Ratchet."

"Oh. You got off lightly then. Should have recruited him instead of Starscream," Megatron grumbled, striding out.

**Drabble 65**

"You threatened one of our own. Unacceptable," Optimus rumbled, crouching over the liaison. The man sat on an Autobot medical berth, not responding.

"Prime," Ratchet moved closer.

"Not now," Optimus snapped back.

"My medbay, you listen," Ratchet said. "The man is temporarily deaf and barely able to see. He can't walk or defend himself for at least a day. Close weapons fire does that."

"Hmm. Can I gesture threateningly? Show him my energon swords?"

"Only if you change his shorts. I already did once. Never again," the medic stated.

"Fine. Tomorrow then."

**Drabble 66**

"To enslave and punish? A bit harsh?" Prowl quoted the words on Barricade's armor.

"This from a bot wearing pretty flowers?"

"Portland is the rose city. Roses are their symbol, even the police," he reminded frostily.

"Whatever. How is this going down?"

"Share power?"

"Never."

"Then we have..."

"A failure to communicate?"

"To take you into custody. Sideswipe, Ironhide move in."

"You sneaky glitch!" Barricade yelled, outnumbered.

"I am a tactician."

That night marked the first time a Decepticon _left_ earth in comet form. And while wearing handcuffs too.


	18. Chapter 18 Going, going, gone

Author's notes: Thanks for the reviews. More continuing drabbles then shifting to new ones. "Turn around, don't drown," is an actual safety phrase. This is rated T. Meaning suitable for teens, 13 years and older, with some violence, (battles and the Decepticons) minor coarse language, (Cybertron swearing) and minor suggestive adult themes. (Ironhide and Chromia). Theme: Advanced aliens dealing with humans.

**Drabble 67**

"You recklessly endangered me," the liaison complained, moving stiffly.

"And you disgust me," Optimus rumbled. Resting on one knee plate, he loomed over the man.

"Talking dirty? Kinky but I don't do robots."

"Your conduct lacks maturity."

"And you're pretending to be big and threatening. I read the files. You forbade hurting a human, made it a rule. You're just a big sissy. Eep."

Battle mask clicking into place, Optimus grabbed the man, tightening his fist enough to feel the man's pulse throbbing. "Rules can be changed or broken."

"Not... by you...I always... win," he gasped out.

"We shall see."

**Drabble 68**

"Turn around, don't drown," Annabelle quoted, giggling. The water sprayed up either side of Ironhide's cab, his suspension high enough to clear the water flowing over the roadway.

"River wouldn't affect me," Ironhide reminded, rolling up and over a downed tree. The ferocious storm continued, lighting illuminating the night sky. "Quit squirming, you're safe inside me."

"I got to go potty."

"Now? But you..."

"Me got to!" she repeated.

Pulling over, he transformed, cupping her from the weather.

Arriving home, Sarah frowned. "Ironhide. It's pouring rain and you want to wash your hands?"

**Drabble 69**

"Hey!" Sam protested, Bumblebee's arm suddenly blocking him from entering his quarters. "Warn a guy. What?"

Bumblebee's battle mask flipped down, the war cannon forming on his arm. Peering around his armored legs, Sam saw the scattered action figures. "See?"

::They are toys. They can't move!:: Bumblebee protested, scanning them.

"Then tell Optimus! He didn't believe me," Sam put them back on the shelf before grabbing his stuff. "Your room?"

Slamming his door close woke the two in the storeroom.

"Ironhide?"

"Yah 'Mia?"

"Can I have an Ironhide?"

"You already do. Me."

"You're not a toy."

"But I'm always yours."

**Drabble 70 **

"You gave me a cat holoform? Not human? Of all the!" Wheelie began raving, rolling in a circle.

"Your alt mode is small, as is your holo projector. Cats go everywhere and their curiosity allows spying. Be glad I didn't make you a swamp rat," Ratchet grumbled.

"Here, for additional firepower," Wheeljack offered a miniaturized sniper plasma gun to the young mech.

"For me? Wow. Almost makes up for the hairballs."

Judy Witwicky thought he looked cute as a cat holoform and Ron refused to comment when Sam, Bumblebee, and Wheelie arrived for a weekend visit.

**Drabble 71**

"Hurry! Or we won't be the first to see the meteorite!"

"Dude! This is awesome," the second teenager exclaimed, pushing past the blackberry bushes. "There it is! A great big...empty burning crater. Where'd it go? I don't see any pieces!"

Metal clunked nearby, the dark shape shifting as they screamed. Freezing, the stillness of the night continued. "Is it me or does that look like..."

"A giant set of handcuffs?" the teen finished then pointed. "Whatever it was, went that way. And from the trail of destruction, I'd say it was pretty pissed off."


	19. Chapter 19 Piercings, toys and Alice

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. I wasn't happy with the last chapter but eh. Work has been crazy insane and busy, leaving me tired mentally and physically. Drabble 75 is the ladykiller continuation with a surprise cameo from the ROTF movie. Theme: Best of intentions.

**Drabble 72**

"Don't slag up." Ratchet's words rang in First Aid's memory core. New to earth, the junior Autobot medic wanted to help but the only injuries had been on fleeing Decepticons. Then he'd found the human civilian by the dance club, knocked unconscious by debris and needing treatment

"I even removed the embedded shrapnel from his skin," First Aid stated, feeling proud. Both humans glanced at the pieces he held.

"Are those?" Will blinked.

"Looks that way to me," Epps grinned.

The young man stirred, rubbing a hand over his face. "Dude! Where's all my piercings?"

**Drabble 73**

Firestar slid the bottles over, grumbling. "Stuff left everywhere from fixing our wash racks. Hmm, polish. I can use that." Spinning the dials, cleanser solution flowed down over her.

Outside, two mechs approached. "Humans laid fresh tar on the road, stuck to me now. I need that acid cleaner," Hound said.

"No problem. It's right in here, used it to strip the pipes. Stored in a polish bottle, reuse recycle." Wheeljack said, before recognizing the energy signature. "She wouldn't?"

The scream had them cringing.

"She did."

"Better call Ratchet."

"For you or her?"

**Drabble** **74**

"Annabelle, I do not play with dolls," Ironhide gruffly reminded. At home, playing alongside her was one thing, being caught while on duty at a military base remained unthinkable.

"They're not dolls cause they're not wearing clothes!"

"They're in protoform?"

"No," she giggled. "Action figures. Sam threw them out in the trash and I got them. Yours is right here."

His optics narrowed in on the black replica toy. "Inaccurate and breakable."

"Yah, the arm keeps falling off. I used it to beat up the bad mechs."

"Decepticons? They're mine," he growled.

**Drabble 75**

"Shake then squeeze to use," Ironhide teased.

Controlling his anger, Optimus dropped the liaison. "Brig him."

"What... charge?" the man gasped.

"Slagging off Prime," Ironhide smirked.

"Felony... or... misdemeanor?" he asked, struggling to his feet.

"Capital offense if ya keep pushing."

At the brig Prowl nodded at the human blond guard. "Alice, watch him please." Humming, he made a note to check back later. The former Decepticon pretender drone, rebuilt and reprogrammed by the twins, needed monitoring. She wouldn't offline the man, but the results would be worth watching on the security cameras.


	20. Chapter 20 Alice, targets and meow

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. 20 chapters ! Woot! On the way to 50. It's my day off and I finally have some time to write and catch up. A quick update for now. Theme: Advanced aliens dealing with planet bound humans.

**Drabble 76**

"Hey! You need to move," Ironhide told the human official. Temporarily assigned to NEST, he knew budgets but not battlefield skills.

"Ahem, the proper greeting is 'excuse me,' not hey."

"But..."

"Please move' not 'need to move.' Use proper English."

"Now will you move?"

"When I do, you need to say 'thank you."

"How about this," Ironhide lunged forward, grabbing and rolling around the man as the nearby explosion rocked them both.

"What the!"

"You were on the target dumb aft. Oh and thank you for not splatting on my armor."

**Drabble 77**

"Worse than seekers on high grade," Wheelie complained, rolling into the hallway; Ron's snoring heard through the far bedroom door.

Grinning, he slid down the stairway banister. "Match this Sammie." Hopping onto the floor, he paused feeling the breeze from the open dining room window. In the living room, a shadowy figure continued pulling at the Xbox cords, missing the cat hologram forming.

"Meow."

"Shoo! Get! Dumb cat," the burglar brandished a knife.

"MEOW!"

"Or what?"

The cat stood on its back feet, a rifle appearing in its front paws. "Ya feeling lucky?"

**Drabble 78**

"Report Alice," Prowl commanded.

"The prisoner reported feeling ill," she began, replaying his voice. "I'm madly, sickly in love. Come give me the cure.' I entered the cell to scan and he grabbed me. Stated he could light a spark in me. I disagreed and he attempted to access my power pack." She tapped her chest plates. "He stated he wanted some tail."

"You transformed," Prowl guessed, watching her spine tail whip back and forth.

"Did I do wrong?"

"No, not with you current programming. Ratchet, please attend to the brig. The liaison is … hiding under the bunk."


	21. Chapter 21 Cartoons and a cat

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. For more Transformers and halloween costumes, please read my fic _You know you're addicted to Humans_, ch 4. Thanks to imaginethat96 for Optimus watching Bambi suggestion. Theme: To the insider it makes sense. To anyone outside, not so much.

**Drabble 79**

"The logic escapes me," Mirage admitted.

"Little higher please," Sam instructed, spreading the white netting further.

"We spent two days sweeping the cobwebs free and removing the insects lest they bite," Hound reminded.

"These? Just decorations. It's about pranks, and eating tons of candy and getting away with it."

"How is that different from the rest of the year with the twins and Ratchet?" Hound teased.

"It's a holiday," Sam stressed, wiring the spider into place.

"With fake blood and dressing like mythical beings?" Mirage asked.

::It's Halloween. Trick or treat:: Bumblebee sent.

**Drabble 80**

"Prowl, I cannot stress this enough. I do not want to be disturbed," Optimus stated firmly. "This meeting is of the highest importance."

"Your schedule is clear and the base alerted," his SIC reassured.

"Any emergencies..."

"Will be handled. Now go before you are late."

Making his way across base, Optimus smiled before entering the recreation room.

"You came."

"A good Prime learns the indigenous culture and values input from the smallest of its inhabitants."

"Why not say you like cartoons?" Annabelle giggled, pulling out her DVD collection.

"I just did."

**Drabble 81**

James Henry was a retired federal agent who bragged nothing surprised him and very little scared him. Retiring to the suburbs concluding a long and exciting career. Now, utter boredom.

"Lock the garbage lid!" His wife reminded.

"Iraq, Iran and I got married. Getting old is not what I expected," he grumbled, taking the trash out the back door.

Then someone fell over his fence before screaming and running past. Panic had many faces, all familiar. His was sheer terror.

The cat chasing him seemed happy, rifle and all.

"Martha, the dog sleeps inside from now on."

**Drabble 82**

"Oh, don't be a sissy," Ratchet growled, reaching under the bunk and dragging the huddled liaison out. "Alice barely touched you. Any other femme would have taken your arm off."

"But...she's...not..."

"Human? What gave her away? The nine foot metal spiked tail or a complete lack of interest in you? Wait, human females don't care either," Ratchet sniped, his medical scans confirming old injuries.

"Help... me?" He pleaded, uncurling a little.

"I'm a doctor not a psychiatrist. I recommend immediate release, CMO authorization."

"You're freeing me?"

"Rescheduling. The twins need the brig later."


	22. Chapter 22 Bullseye, a tree and drones

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. You keep giving them, I'll keep writing and making you laugh.

**Drabble** **83**

"Flying squirrel suits? Whose idea was this? What happened to parachutes?" Master Sergeant Epps grumbled, marking on his clipboard.

"Software upgrade, and chutes to find them," Major Lennox joked, grimacing as another soldier splashed into the ocean, needing rescue.

"Two drop teams missed the target! It's huge! They have the entire beach lagoon as secondary! Next set inbound and already drifting."

"That one is on target," he pointed.

"Kinda small. We recruiting midgets now?"

"Name is...A Lennox," Will read then shot a look at Ironhide, standing nearby and fidgeting.

"That isn't?"

"_Annabelle!"_

**Drabble 84**

"Look who got kicked out of the brig," Moonracer's hologram pointed towards the liaison.

"And out of recharge bunks," Firestar said.

"Or just kicked," Chromia added, her tattoo heavy hologram snarling. "Can we fix him?

"Not our problem," Elita reminded.

"Fixed as in castrated. No breeding."

"Chromia!"

"How about?"

"No approaching him, per Prime's orders." Elita stated then vented. "He's behind me isn't he?"

"Hello ladies," the human greeted as the women disappeared, their alt modes transforming up into themselves. "Is any female on this frigging base _REAL_?"

**Drabble 85**

"Is it me or has Carly been acting weird lately?" Sam asked, watching the coffee pot walking across the counter and pour itself into his cup.

::You wanted her to take an interest in us:: Bumblebee reminded, couching low to miss the ceiling light.

"Interest not making drones! All of a sudden it's like she's Wheeljack's kid," he gestured towards the flying drone dusting. "Look at this note, 'Love you, out getting parts.' Does this make any sense?"

::Sam! Those are Cybertronian glyphs. She wrote them. You read them:: Bumblebee pointed to the symbols.

"Call Ratchet!"

**Drabble 86**

"Does someone want to explain?"

"Honest, chief. That's what happened. His fingerprints match the pharmacy robberies and everything," the Sergeant hurriedly explained.

The police chief frowned. His patrol staff seemed sincere and not a prank. He glanced down at the arrest report. "Man has never been caught before and confesses to everything?"

"Begged to get handcuffed."

"Once we got him out of the tree," the Captain added.

"A tree?"

"Says a cat chased him there. Threatened to shoot."

"He was armed?"

"The cat threatened him. Real whack job," the officer shrugged.


	23. Chapter 23 Stickers, webs and screaming

Author's notes: Thanks for the reviews. Annabelle is a human Prime, same as Sam in my fic "If an Autobot do not do the following," pt 1 and 2, referenced here.

**Drabble 87**

"Hey!" Sideswipe protested, rocking on his axles.

"You said I could," Annabelle giggled, applying another sticker to the inside roof of his alt mode.

"I said where you can't _see_ them," the silver warrior grumbled, having been outsmarted. An encounter with Decepticons left Ironhide in med bay and him guarding the youngest human Prime.

"You can't," she pointed up. "Unless you're sitting here. My booster seat."

"Be that smart in class," he encouraged, rolling into the school parking lot. The routine continued for nearly a week. Him bribing her with books of stickers, many inevitably ending up on him.

**Drabble 88**

"I don't care, its creepy!" Epps protested.

"It's Cybertronian micro filament, protecting Wheeljack's lab," Will stated calmly.

"It's a giant spider web at Halloween time that even Prime won't go near!"

"Seen it today? Wrapped bundles like caught prey," Jorgensen agreed, shuddering.

The men paused as Ratchet strode by, smiling. "Now that is scary. Smiling?" Faint white wisps trailed behind one foot pad, unnoticed by the medic but not the soldiers. "No explosions. Must have been a friendly visit."

"Where are Sunstreaker and Sideswipe? They're late." Optimus asked.

"They're...tied up," Ratchet smirked.

**Drabble 89**

The liaison crouched lower, hidden among the multitude of boxes and crates. "Always wanted women fighting over me. Though not which would kill me first."

Heavy treads outside created instant stillness.

He shifted, muttering. "What's wrong with them? I offered to buff and wax them. Rub it on thick and they threaten to shoot me! I need to escape. Before whatever is wrong with these people affects me."

The door opened, the female shape silhouetted. "Curiouser and curiouser," Alice began, drowned out by screaming.

Outside Prowl gestured to Ironhide. "Audible homing signal, better than thermal imagery."

**Drabble 90**

"Calm yourself," Ratchet ordered.

"But the note! She ! I read! We!" Sam protested, wiggling in the medic's armored grip.

"Not long ago you'd have given anything to understand the glyphs."

"They were for a reason. To save Optimus. Carly is my girlfriend and I...like her. A lot."

The statement had Ratchet venting exasperatedly. "I'll need to examine both of you at my med bay."

"Me?" Sam protested.

"Two potential mates and you have failed to produce a sparkling. That concerns me more than her mechanical skills."

"You never change do you?"


	24. Chapter 24 Convertibles and writing

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. As any writer, you look for back stories or expand on what is not shown. Hence Annabelle and Sideswipe part 2 in Drabble 91. Did anyone guess or even suspect? And yes, I read reviews. Never know where a plot bunny will be hiding.

**Drabble 91**

"I will never understand humans," Sideswipe grumbled. "Bring boxes of forms and endless questions and can't plan ahead for one ride? We're not taxis."

"Hey." Arcee greeted, smiling at the sword balanced against her throat plate. "Prime's is larger."

"Then he trans scan a bus," he snarled, relenting.

"Worried about the stickers?" the femme asked. "I've transported Annabelle too. And I have a suggestion."

The other Autobots stared when Sideswipe drove in the next morning. "What? Never seen a convertible before? It's summer." The hardtop metal safely tucked into subspace, stickers and all.

**Drabble 92**

"Is it confirmed?"

Ratchet vented, conflicted at answering Optimus. "I reviewed Wheeljack's data before discreetly scanning femme Lennox. The life is too tiny to detect at this early stage."

"How solid is the data? Humans are sensitive."

"See for yourself," the medic stated, transferring the data packet. He snickered at the other mech's expression. "Now who is sensitive? You watch animal documentaries with Annabelle."

"Humans are allies not animals," Optimus chided, grimacing.

"Then you tell Sarah and Ironhide."

"Why me? You're the medic."

"Can you repair me afterward?"

"Tomorrow good?"

**Drabble 93**

"Let's write fan fiction."

Sunstreaker paused, polishing rag in hand. He stared at his twin, ignoring the others in the recreation room. "What type?"

"Sci-fi and drama."

"How about romance or adventure? That would be biography, not fiction," Sunstreaker proposed.

"Fantasy," Jolt snickered. The ensuing fight brought wrath down on them.

"Explain to me in one hundred words or less why I shouldn't brig you for life," Prowl said.

"Writers are misunderstood?" Sideswipe offered.

"Try again."

"Life sentence for you to guard us?"

Freed, the twins bumped fists. "True crime."

**Drabble 94**

"Literature assignment. Ask personal questions and figure out if they are being truthful," Sam muttered. "Sounds easy."

"Two cannons and a multitude of hidden weapons. What are you scared of?" Sam asked.

"Not a slagging thing," Ironhide grunted.

"Truthful. And Optimus becoming boss?"

"We celebrated it as only friends can celebrate!" Jazz smirked.

"How?"

"Don't remember," Elita admitted. "But our friends tell us it was rocking."

"Actually, they called it wild. The Elite Guard that raided the party called it rocking," Chromia corrected.

"Truthful. Can I attend next party?"


	25. Chapter 25 Dealing with discoveries

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. To clarify, in the movie verse Sideswipe was a silver Corvette in the first two movies then appearing in Dark of the Moon he was a convertible with no top at all. The reason was never mentioned in the movie that I saw. Sideswipe wanting to keep Annabelle's stickers a secret was why he removed the hardtop into subspace. I've been working on other fics, hence the delay in posting.

**Drabble 95**

"Always obtain permission before beginning a project or experiment," Prowl reminded.

"I did ask," Wheeljack mumbled sheepishly.

"I don't recall approving a cityformer level power unit," Optimus rumbled.

"You didn't, exactly."

"How exactly?" Prowl prodded verbally.

"Approved research using hydrogen, as in water, as a fuel source. I forgot to add a compensator adjuster to the prototype, before turning it on."

They all turned to stare up at the pillar of raw power shooting into the night sky. "How long until it burns itself out?"

"Not sure. About this time tomorrow. Maybe."

**Drabble 96**

"The human femmes exited the hanger to avoid you, you attempted to assault Sarah Lennox and Alice," Prowl reviewed.

"That thing doesn't count!" the liaison snapped, defiantly facing them.

"But I do. And your behavior is unacceptable to both races," Elita stated firmly.

"It's a conspiracy. You just don't understand me," he countered. "I have rights."

"You have a right to remain silent," Chromia warned.

"You slagging better," Ironhide finished, backing his sparkmate.

"We have called a transport. You are leaving," Optimus ordered.

"Great. Go somewhere safe. And find a date."

**Drabble 97**

Laughing, Sarah raised her party glass to drink, the laser blast shattering it into dust.

"No alcohol for you either," Ironhide warned, having destroyed Sam's glass earlier.

Glaring, she daubed at her dress spots. "What? I'm old enough to drink!"

"Alcohol can be detrimental to a fetus," Ratchet warned.

"Even at this early stage," Wheeljack added.

"I'm...pregnant?" Sarah looked as surprised as Will.

"Confirmed," Optimus said. "Though not detectable by human standards."

"And when were you planning to tell me?" Her frosty tone had them wincing.

"Checked facebook lately?" Wheeljack offered.

**Drabble 98**

"Ratchet, what's wrong with her?"

The ancient medic regarded Sam kindly. "Carly touched a Cybertronian memory core uploader. Designed for broad spectrum emergency repairs, its nannites adapted to human brain frequencies."

"She got zapped? Like I did?"

"You had knowledge of the ancient Prime's history. She understands what the scientist, an Autobot named Perceptor, programmed into it. But its scrap now. The power unit melted."

"Meaning?" Sam pressed.

"Mikeala knew mechanics but not quantum physics. Carly is working with Wheeljack on modifying the transport pillars for a land bridge portal," Ratchet explained.

"Great. Even my girlfriend is smarter than me."


	26. Chapter 26 If it moves, it's gone!

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. Back to rapid fire posting. Per the reader poll, more Wheeljack, Prowl making rules and general fun. And we've hit 100 drabbles! Woohoo!

**Drabble 99**

"And not wearing a seat belt," Prowl's hologram continued lecturing, his attention split evenly between his current target and the human vehicles driving by them.

"What? It's a hologram! Ain't real!" Ironhide argued, flexing burly holographic muscles; his Top kick alt mode rocking on its axles.

"Then holo a seat belt. Fine of one hundred credits."

That evening, entering his office, the Second In Command stopped in the doorway. A holographic image of one hundred credits floated above the center of his desk. "_Belt this! Payment in full_" floated below it.

"Challenge accepted," Prowl smiled.

**Drabble 100**

"Aren't you suppose to label all these?" Carly reminded, glancing over the assortment of shelving and their myriad contents.

"I know what they are," Wheeljack answered, his sidebars flashing colorfully.

"And last week's explosion?" She asked sweetly.

"The twins, misreading the warnings. Mixed the beakers up. Red ring is explosive, green is corrosive and blue reactionary," Wheeljack instructed, pouring a compound.

"Blue plus purple?"

"That would be bad," then he noticed what he held. "Carly? How fast can you run?"

"Why?"

"Fourteen seconds. Go!"

"I'm buying you a permanent marker!"

**Drabble 101**

"Escort the liaison to the plane," Optimus ordered. The Autobots surrounded him as they moved.

"That one," Starscream ordered, his sensors honing in through the clouds. "He must be important the way they are guarding him."

"Then you grab the squishy. I hate touching one," Skywarp whined, hovering in his jet mode.

"That's an order!"

The attack was too sudden, too unexpected. A flash of light and they were gone.

"Teleported away," Wheeljack confirmed.

"I wonder if he can get that problem dropped?" Optimus chuckled.

"More likely he will be," Ironhide said.

**Drabble 102**

'Could be Decepticons,' Wheelie hesitated. Perched on the roof, his cat hologram shifted as he crouched lower. The humming sound increased, the miniature flier moving through the trees toward the Witwicky house. He made his decision.

"What do you mean my cat destroyed your helicopter? I don't even own a cat. And they don't carry guns," Ron argued when the kid next door showed up.

Judy ignored them, tucking Wheelie into his bed in the living room. "I appreciate you keeping my Sammie safe. My gosh, neighbor deserved to lose that toy, flying over the fence like that."

**Drabble 103**

Optimus glanced down, seeing the box he had inadvertently kicked over. "Slag, I am tired. Nevertheless," he bent down and began picking up the scattered white rounds. "My office door is not storage."

One bounced off his stubby finger into the air, unrolling. Amused, he watched as it hit the wall, ricocheting and leaving a trail of white paper behind. Like a mischievous youngling, he began tossing them all over his office, watching them unfurl.

The next morning had the SIC confronting the other Autobots. "Some bot tp'd Optimus office. I will find out who," Prowl warned.


	27. Chapter 27 TP, alarms and handcuffs

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. And yes, I can go up to 200 if you keep reading and reviewing. Onward to ordinary things creating unusual reactions.

**Drabble 104**

Ratchet onlined, optics blearily focusing as the alarm rang. Muttering, he smacked the clock onto the floor. The ringing continued. Both optics brightened as he narrowed in on the far wall. "Where the pit did that one come from?" A thrown recharge pillow knocked it off, silencing it. Then the ringing began under his berth and the spare storage closet. His blaster silenced them. And the next fourteen.

In the hallway Bumblebee and Sam bumped fists. "Told you hiding clocks everywhere would work."

"And you were doing what?" Optimus confronted Ratchet later.

"Snooze alarm, Cybertronian style."

**Drabble 105**

"My kinky femme," Ironhide chuckled, seeing the holographic handcuffs floating above their recharge berth. The words below made him pause. _"I need contact before tomorrow. Ignoring me solves nothing."_

Had he been neglecting Chromia that she had to demand his time? "Slagging going to change that," he rumbled, digging for the warming oils and polishing cloths. Her coy smile warmed his spark when she entered the room.

"I'm yours all night," he promised.

In his office Prowl checked again. "Still no payment. Strange. Is Ironhide wanting a brig stay? My message was clear, wasn't it?"

**Drabble 106**

"Dispose of experiments in the proper, approved of manner," Prowl quoted.

"I was head of the science division before the war, I understand the difficulties of a lab," Optimus reminded, forestalling excuses.

"Then you understand how this happened?" Wheeljack asked.

"No."

"Oh. No one explained the human's idea of water recycling didn't cover micro irradiated particles."

"Pouring down the drain? What were you processing Jack?" Ironhide argued.

"Disposing of glow in the dark particles. The humans are easier to see at night."

"Only if they showered."

"Find the rest by smell?"

**Drabble 107 **

"You did it?" Prowl repeated in disbelief.

"Yes," Optimus affirmed.

"You?"

"Yes."

"Covered your own office?"

"In white paper, from a box I accidentally kicked over," Optimus shrugged, totally unrepentant.

"When was the last time you saw Ratchet?"

"Why?"

"Only explanation for you lying has to be medically based."

"I'm not lying," he grumbled. "And you need to loosen up. Both times was quite fun. You should try it."

"Both?" Prowl repeated, opening his office door. To white. Glitching, he fell straight backwards.

"My bad," Optimus vented.


	28. Chapter 28 Paying closer attention

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. And for fun, you can reset someone's auto fill electronic signature. Most people use it and never look. Though on official notes to the boss it might be a bad idea. And for those who have asked, no. I'm really not a smart aft in person. Until all are one, Layra.

**Drabble 108**

"What do you mean no females?" The liaison yelped, already recovering.

"They're with the Autobots," Starscream screeched.

"We haven't any way to attract them," Skywarp complained.

"Ways sways. You have to know how to handle them. You think Chromia gets flowers or Moonracer chocolate and sweet whisperings? Nah! Their mechs take charge, tell them what to do," he said.

"And?"

"Make them listen. Grab them if necessary. What could happen?" the human asked.

"Blast, shot, and stabbed. Our femmes are armed."

"Then show them you got bigger guns."

"This might work."

**Drabble 109**

"I'm CMO to repair injuries! Not spark sit!" Ratchet's raving voice brought Prowl out of stasis, the lingering neuron ache reminding why he was in med bay.

"What happened?"

"You glitched! Because of our sparkling Prime! I have better things to do than clean up after pranks." Ratchet continued.

"My logic coding error is unrepairable," he reminded frostily, sitting up slowly, wing doors flaring.

"Then learn to handle new situations! Like TP everywhere. I have to. You're not some youngling that needs coddling!"

Blue optics narrowed as tactical calculations ran. "I will remember that."

**Drabble 110**

"Have a lab partner if you are working with anything sharp, hot, or chemicals," Wheeljack quoted, shaking the powdery mix carefully.

"Shouldn't Ratchet be here, instead of me? Save you the trip to med bay?" Carly teased, her long blond hair swinging.

"Medical conference on post traumatic stress. Humans react badly to unexpected explosions apparently," came the nonchalant reply.

"Right. What is this?" Carly powered the colorful sphere, rocking it back and forth.

"Triboelectric charging detonator."

"Meaning?"

"Super static cling."

ZAP!

"Jack" Ratchet growled upon his return. "Weren't you watching her?"

**Drabble 111**

"Slagging paperwork," Ironhide grunted, electronically signing another government supply request. "I got better things to do than deal with this."

"Sir, about the requests?" the soldier started.

"Already filed. Heading to the weapon's range to meet my femme."

But sir," he jogged, trying to keep up with the long strides. "It's been changed."

"The order?"

"Your signature. You used the auto fill? Ironhide is now _Ironaft cannons_."

"What!"

"It gets better. Optimus is _Opt the voice,_ and Ratchet is _Rafe wrenche_s."

"The twins! Going to be _Twits in the brig_!"


	29. Chapter 29 You said what?

Author's notes: Thanks for the reviews. Glad you are enjoying the laughs. I have the day off so a super fast update.

**Drabble 112**

"They can't say but put it online!"

"Sarah, honey. Your profile of Steelkick friends only the Autobots. Backup when the main communications fail," Will comforted. "And now..."

"I'm pregnant," she answered, smiling as he smirked. "And you are not getting out of diaper duty this time."

"Wasn't my choice to deploy to Qatar! And I feel more comfortable with Wheeljack and Ratchet monitoring you. They can tell what gender, help with your morning sickness."

"Watch me give birth," she chuckled. "Wheeljack guarantees the delivery date range."

"Have to ask him how."

**Drabble 113**

Tired from a long shift, Ratchet gratefully keyed open his door then stopped mid-step. His room was white with TP. "My locks. Only command staff could override them," he realized then commed Prowl.

::Yes?::

::I've been pranked! Where's Prime?::

::Away on a mission. And I see through the security cameras. New situations are difficult::

::Situation? More like disaster! Get over here to handle it::

::Sorry, I'm off duty:: Prowl sent. ::File a report like a grown mech. And no burning paper::

The communication line closed as Ratchet sputtered. "Watch me."

"Forgot the fire sprinklers?" Optimus teased later.

**Drabble** **114**

"I can teach you what you need to know," the liaison reassured.

"Like shields? Femmes shoot at us," Skywarp

"They want to see what you are made of."

"Metal."

"Think I found your problem. Offer her a drink."

Next battle, Firestar braced as the seeker landed by her. Starscream smiled, holding out energon in a decorated mini cube. "Your beauty makes my software turn to hardware."

"How'd it go?" The liaison asked. Starscream sulked by, walking oddly towards their repair bay. "Where's the cube?"

"Stuck under his chassis plating," Thundercracker snickered.


	30. Chapter 30 Voices and matters of size

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. This time, Ironhide and Annabelle cuteness, a reminder of size making perspectives different, and not what it sounds like.

**Drabble 115**

"Your shoe is untied," Annabelle noticed. Bored, the little girl waited for the Autobots to end their Pentagon meeting.

"Knot came undone," Sam explained.

"I can tie lots of knots."

"Lots?"

"Lots. Big and strong knots too. I can show you them."

Done with the meeting, the Autobots found Sam ensnared in rope, hanging from a nearby light fixture. "Polyhedron knots," Prowl identified.

"I taught her those," Ironhide smirked.

"Why?"

"Annabelle needed to learn to tie her shoes."

"And the part about hanging Sam upside down?"

"The twins, probably."

**Drabble 116**

"Ironhide," Optimus began, curious but wary. "May I inquire why you have been taking scraps from the mess hall?"

"I ain't eating it. Helping Annabelle with a school project," he glanced up, polishing his left arm cannon.

"Helping how?" Prowl prodded, reviewing rules concerning humans and homework.

"Start a vegetable garden. Potatoes that root, celery and avocados starts into full plants. Hard part," he grunted, subspacing the armor wax away. "Was keeping Wheeljack from over spraying his fertilizer mix."

"He didn't?"

"Aw Prime, it's safe to eat. All twenty acres of it."

**Drabble 117**

"No Wheeljack, you cannot keep it," Hound warned, though he was tempted, amused at how it moved.

"Maybe this once Optimus would..."

"Rules state no pets. Especially in a lab," Hound stated, his processor conjuring scenarios of fire, smoke and mayhem and bots rushing in to save it.

"What are you holding?" Carly interrupted.

"A baby?" Wheeljack pondered, lowering his hand to let her see.

"SNAKE! Big snake!" Yelping, she recoiled.

"You're scaring him," Wheeljack warned, cupping his hand. The rules held, the eighteen foot python finding a home at the local zoo.

**Drabble 118**

"Ratchet, you're needed in Ironhide's quarters," intercom base page didn't surprise the medic. The time of the morning did. And the fact Chromia issued the page, not her cannon happy sparkmate. Until he saw them.

"Let me gets this straight," he tried not laughing. "Your vocal tone..."

"Is hers," Ironhide growled in Chromia's voice.

"Ratchet, please report to Prime's quarters, non emergency," in Elita's voice seemed normal. Until a second Elita spoke. "I can't let any bot hear me like this."

"Another wonderful morning," the CMO headed across base, issuing a medical alert.


	31. Chapter 31 Shields, say yes and sneaky

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. If you guessed the twins were the ones changing the vocalizers, wrong. They don't do all the pranks. Even Prowl and Prime have done one or two. They are living beings with a sense of humor, even command. And for anyone who thought the liaison is overdone, I had a customer at work yesterday that was his equal plus. That man's comments are not repeatable here less I up the rating. Which I won't do. But I smiled afterward when the other girls complained about him, seeing TF fun at work. Drabble 120 is a reference to Murphy's Laws, military.

**Drabble 119**

"Are you sure this is safe?" Trailbreaker's voice rose above the howling winds.

"Per my calculations," Wheeljack chirped, intent on the scanner in his hands. "Your force shield protects us. I may not have this chance again."

"But its a tornado! My shield's designed for weapons fire! Not wild weather!"

"We're heavy metal. What could happen?"

In that same field, the next day.

"Fred, ya see what ah see?"

"Big holes? Like something dropped from high up and bounced like rabbits hopping? Yup," the farmer agreed.

"Wonder what on earth made those?"

**Drabble 120**

::What happened this time?:: Ratchet's snarl did little to comfort Hound. The green armored scout stayed official as trained for comm messages, alert for following Decepticons.

::Mission hit an unexpected snag. Waiting at drop coordinates. Need medical evac::

::Snag as in Cliffjumper shooting first and asking questions never or Huffer imitating no processor the barbarian, charging blindly in?::

::They attacked Starscream::

::Q#$%%! How bad?:: Ratchet growled.

::Medical stasis, non spark threatening:: Hound reported, glad the dense tropical foliage hid them, mixing seamlessly with his holograms. ::I know:: he vented softly. ::Never share a patrol with any bot braver than you::

**Drabble 121**

"You're not going out like that?" Firestar vented, her optics wide as a protoform Arcee passed her in the wash racks, armor and weaponry tucked in her arms.

"Not wearing body armor attracts mechs," Arcee giggled.

"And weapon's fire," Elita reminded, handing the armor polish to the other femme. "Waxing repels dirt."

"And repelling spark happy seekers?" Flareup teased, her red armor glinting in the light.

"Shields?" Elita offered.

"Change of tactics," Chromia suggested. "Say yes."

"WHAT!"

"With traditional Cybertronian courtships applying," she smirked. "Enforce clan laws. Or nothing."

**Drabble 122**

"CMO, please report to med bay."

"Is Ratchet...paging himself?" Epps asked.

"Probably another prank victim. Vocalizers are all switched. Even got the twins," Will explained.

"They got hit?"

"Yes. Bot with Ratchet's voice probably wants to remain anonymous, hence paging," Will commented, intent on the upcoming meeting agenda.

"Must be Prowl."

"Or Red Alert. Haven't seen him all day."

Inside his office, the medic put both feetpads up, sipping high grade. "Should have processed this prank vorns ago. Command is too embarrassed to be seen in public. And paging myself, sheer brilliance."


	32. Chapter 32 Bumpers, nests and Barricade

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. A super fast update on my day off. Eagle's nests are often very high up, massively sized (for humans) and in odd places. And the return of a fan favorite.

**Drabble 123**

"_If you can read this, please set me on my wheels,_" Sideswipe read, laughing and pointing at the upside down bumper sticker on Ratchet's front.

"What?" the medic snapped, glaring. "You put that there!"

"Not me. But I like Prime's better," Sunstreaker smirked as he strode into the hangar. _"If you are reading this closely, better be Elita-one._"

"Disrespectful slaggers!" Ironhide grumbled.

"Recharge lighter?" The twins suggested, turning to see black and white armor. The bumper sticker printing _"If you can read this, confess now, brig later_."

"Hi Prowl."

"Busted."

**Drabble 124**

"Be careful, don't break it," Annabelle warned, her young voice excitedly high pitched. Waiting at her guardian's feetpads, she fidgeted while he retrieved the precious object from the tree.

"One used avian sparkling containment unit," Ironhide vented, running an ultra violet light over it to kill any germs before handing it over.

"It's a bird nest," she giggled. "School assignment complete."

"Why stop there? Let's find more," Ironhide offered.

"You bent a back strut how?" Ratchet challenged later that day, answering his distress call.

"Over reaching for an eagle's nest," Ironhide sheepishly admitted.

**Drabble 125**

"You watched us?"

"Not as a voyeur," Wheeljack hastily reassured. "Pure scientific observation. Shareable only with medical staff."

Sarah grimaced, imaging the future. 'Medics will never know me or our battles but how I got pregnant. Great. I'm an intergalactic porn star.'

"Ironhide refuses to help."

"Refuses?" she narrowed in.

"After Mission City, the drive in..."

She blushed, remembering getting passionate with Will, newly home and forgetting whom they rode in.

"Ironhide won't share, I won't share," Wheeljack stated.

"I intend to share a piece of my mind with both of you."

**Drabble 126**

"Lighters, tiki torches, floating candles, outdoor centerpiece candles and presto!" Simmons recited, grinning over the list for his pool party.

"Your house goes up in flames like a Hawaiian themed BBQ," Mikeala teased, setting the lemonade tray on the table.

"Hah! It's insured against everything," he waved his arms while keeping his leg cast still. "Meteors and earthquakes included."

"Alien robots?" she asked, eyes going wide.

"Naw, not covered."

"Where is ladiesman217?"

"You! I spent hundreds on that hedge you just flattened!" Simmons snapped.

"Where is he?" Barricade demanded, leaning closer.


	33. Chapter 33 When femmes are involved

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. I've been working on the DOTM fic "Explanations," hence the gap in posting here. And blame 3 days off work with a major 2 day windstorm outside for merriment in this chapter and the next. I do not own Transformers or the characters mentioned therein. Story lines would be more fun if I did. Layra aka hummergrey.

**Drabble 127**

"Where is the Senate Committee clerk?"

"With the Alice drone," Sideswipe grinned.

"Alice? Why?" Prowl vented deeply.

"We added to her defensive capabilities. Needed a human test subject," Sunstreaker answered.

The door opened, the civilian clerk walking in, causing Prowl to frown. "If he is here?"

"Who is with Alice?"

"The only other visitor on base is a movie producer. Listed here as M Bay."

"Movies?"

"Never heard of him. Documentaries maybe?" Sunstreaker pondered.

High pitched screams rang out across the base.

"Horror movies. Get your scare on," Sideswipe smirked.

**Drabble 128**

"Sam freeze," Will ordered, using a commanding tone.

"What? Why?"

"Placing a gun back in a holster, finger on the trigger, will cause you to walk with a limp the rest of your life," Will explained, reaching down and shifting Sam's hand on the pistol.

"Ratchet would kill me. Then bring me back with the Matrix," Sam joked.

"How about restoring life to a budget meeting?" Will teased, gesturing to leave the weapons range.

"Try the Wreckers. They're builders."

"Budget construction costs?"

"Jettison chairs."

"Explains the twins and the safety coordinator."

**Drabble 129 **

"Are you in distress? Your life signs are changing," Wheeljack noted, watching as a red faced Sarah went from angry to rapidly gulping and turning pale.

"Nausea. It's normal for being pregnant," she sighed, rubbing her stomach.

"Morning sickness? I've read abut that. Nausea gravidarum. Caused by increased estrogen levels and indicates human pregnancy, occurring in the first trimester and at any time of day," Wheeljack lectured, fascinated. "Can you tell me more?"

_Bleech! _Sarah barfed abruptly.

"A sample is not necessary but thank you. Maybe," he grimaced, watching it ooze into his footpad gears.

**Drabble 130**

"I don't know where Sam is," Mikeala yelled, thoroughly irritated. Hanging upside down from Barricade's clawed grip had not been part of her afternoon planning.

"He's your sparkmate," the mech hissed.

"Not anymore," Simmons chortled. "They split faster than a reality show marriage!"

"You are not together?"

"No. Has a new girlfriend. Go harass her scantily clad butt!" Mikeala retorted. Gasping, she flailed as he lowered her down.

"I too loved but was passed over for another."

"You? Hard to believe," Simmons muttered.

"Who?" Mikeala asked.

"Chromia. Desired bigger guns."


	34. Chapter 34 Where did that come from?

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews and adding this to your favorite stories list. I know, Christmas is weeks away but I could not resist Drabble 131. Lyrics from 1974 cartoon "_The year without a Santa Claus._" Google "_snow miser_" to see the original clip. I had this idea years ago but it never quite worked out until now. And if anyone wants to draw _him_ singing that, or looking like that, please do. I do not own Transformers, including Barricade, or the Santa cartoon.

**Drabble 131**

"You did what?" Ratchet repeated, feeling a processor ache beginning.

"I watched Christmas cartoons with Annabelle. Humans have the most fascinating imaginative abilities..." Wheeljack rattled away.

Grimacing, Ratchet imagined flying sleds, self wrapping presents or giant snowball making machines. "And? You said I had to see something?"

"This," the inventor proudly tapped out commands, activating the main view screen. An icy Megatron appeared. Then the he began to dance and sing.

_I'm mister White Christmas,_

_I'm mister snow._

_I'm mister icicle,_

_I'm mister ten below._

_Friends call me Snow Miser..._

"Scarred for life," Ratchet sighed.

**Drabble 132**

"Your aim is as creaky as your gears old timer."

Ironhide's optics narrowed, his frame stiff as he turned to glare at Sideswipe. "My weapons range. Turbo revving punk. Or you ready to quit playing pirate like a human youngling and carry a real weapon?"

Wordlessly, Sideswipe transformed out an arm blaster.

"Put your vocalizer where your aim is. Shooting contest. Loser has to introduce himself fully to every human he meets," Ironhide answered.

Later, they greeted newly arriving soldiers. "I'm Sideswipe, an autonomous being from the planet Cybertron and front line melee warrior, twin to Sunstreaker."

**Drabble 133**

Optimus heaved the last boulder effortlessly, or appeared too, aware of the nearby soldiers. Army engineers, they watched fascinated while he cleared the road. "Don't make rock slides like they used to."

"Apparently not," the commander acknowledged.

A faint rumbling echoed as rocks began bouncing down. Cracking, the hillside split before literally flowing onto the road and across into the ravine.

"Get clear!" Optimus warned, running for safety. Then the massive landslide stopped.

The men gaped while Optimus winced at its new size. But the lead boss grinned. Widely. "Woo hoo!" he cheered. "Overtime boys!"

**Drabble 134**

"You can't have Frenzy's head back," Simmons warned, pushing his wheelchair closer.

"Don't want it. Megatron assigned him to watch me," Barricade rumbled.

"Why?" Mikeala asked.

"Not trusting."

"Trust issues hmm? How about joining us?" Simmons asked, leaving them both agape. "Not the Autobots."

"Hate them."

"Not Sector Seven."

"Never heard of them."

"Didn't miss much," Mikeala drawled.

"Private mercenary. We get you energon, you do a job for us. But first. How did you survive Chicago?"

"I carry an Allspark fragment."

"You? How?"

"Jetfire's shard."


	35. Chapter 35 Alt modes, offices and shards

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. Drabble 138 references the Allspark shard used in ROTF to awaken Jetfire. He self offlined to help Optimus but where did it go? Optimus didn't need it with the Matrix. So what if it stayed in the ruined armor? Waiting to be found? And it does provide a way for Megatron to be revived with his shard no? ** plot bunny for adoption ** step right up, take to a good home. For thanksgiving fun, read ch 2 of_ Transformer holidays_. And reviews are love, new chapters are hugs back. Or in this case, silly tickles. Stay safe and have fun.

**Drabble 135**

"I have a question," Annabelle began innocently enough. "If you don't use air to make sounds, how come Optimus has an air horn?"

"He scanned a truck alt mode," Prowl reminded.

"I know that," she giggled. "Does he use air?"

"No. Alt modes are a disguise. We mimic the form, we don't become that form."

"So jets don't fly?"

"They do fly."

"Ravage doggie?"

"Doggie...err dog is his primary form."

"What about?" She kept asking.

Fifteen minutes later. "Medic to the hangar. Prowl is broke again," Annabelle paged.

**Drabble 136**

"The bigger they are, the hard they fall," the Pentagon aide quoted, reviewing the latest battle reports.

"They punch, kick and choke harder too," Ironhide grunted.

"Have you tried respecting them?"

"Like staying beyond weapons range?" Sideswipe offered.

"No, offer a chance to leave peacefully. Not a retreat but walk away, with their dignity intact," the aide said.

"Are you slagging serious? Decepticons cannot be trusted," Ironhide growled.

"Ironhide is right," Optimus strode up, joining the conversation. "But should the situation arise, we will attempt your suggestion."

"Prime!"

"Consider it."

**Drabble 137**

"Any second now," Sam breathed out, resting against Bumblebee's armored leg. In the security monitoring room, they watched the cameras.

::Worth it all:: Bumblebee texted, pantomiming being tired.

"Prank still lacked style," Jazz complained, having done most of the heavy moving.

On screen, Optimus and Ultra Magnus opened their office doors, hesitating as the room registered.

"Does your office?" Optimus began.

"Look like yours? Yes. Some bot switched them."

"Want to shift back?"

"I'm good," Magnus answered, shrugging. "No harm done." Intent on reports, they never processed to tell anyone else, like Elita.

**Drabble 138**

"In Egypt, a human found the shard after the battle. I found that human," Barricade explained.

"You killed him?"

"Leave no witnesses."

"And us?" Simmons asked, ready to press a very special button on his wheelchair arm rest.

"Those who fight for life. Optimus doomed our world sending the Allspark away. I keep the fragment for hope. For new life, sparklings."

"You know it helps a child to be raised without psychotic parents?" Simmons asked.

"Of course. That's why I'll raise them, not the Autobots."

"Doesn't get it, does he?" Mikeala sighed.


	36. Chapter 36 Did he just say that?

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews and setting story alert to stay up on the latest. I swear I have a split personality bi-polar muse. In one day, I'm working on Megatron capturing Santa Claus in _Transformer holidays_, Prime and the Wreckers fighting Shockwave for _DOTM Explanations_ and this chapter. Talk about a variety. :P Hopefully everyone is ready for winter and the holidays coming, whichever you may celebrate. Posts are slower (at least once or twice a week my type slow) as my schedule is packed full right now between family, holidays and work. Until all are one, Layra aka hummergrey.

**Drabble 139**

"That's us," Sideswipe identified, sitting down on the recreation room couch. The other bots acknowledging the twins as Ironhide curled his fingers a little closer about his ward.

"Mommy found car candy molds but not trucks," Annabelle smiled, holding up two Lamborghini shaped chocolates.

"You lose old timer."

"Fits. Soft inside and runs in heat," Ironhide teased back.

"I heard that," Sunstreaker snarked, sitting down by his twin.

_CHOMP! _

"Arrgh! She's eating me!" Sunstreaker yelped, the others turning to see Annabelle chewing her candy.

_Crunch Munch_

"My hood," Sideswipe bemoaned.

"Chocolate, yummy."

**Drabble 140**

"Ah got me an itchy trigger finger," Ironhide drawled, missing the startled looks.

"Are you functional old friend?" Optimus asked.

"Partner? Ah'm finer than cream gravy. A curly wolf needing to bend an elbow later." *

"Slag it! Who reprogrammed Ironhide's speech patterns?" Ratchet growled, hefting a wrench. "You two!"

"Wasn't us!" Sideswipe protested, backed by Sunstreaker.

"Irregardless, you are excused from today's budget meeting pending repairs," Optimus said.

Entering med bay, the medic grinned. "Plan worked. Pay up."

"You're someone to ride the river with friend."

"Thanks, I think."

**Drabble 141**

"This is the life. Staying at Sam's. Shown respect I deserve, not as a drone," Wheelie processed, his cat hologram hiding him while working in the backyard.

"_Excessive particle contamination. Filter clearing imperative" _flashed across his warning display. "Aw slag. Helping with household chores and the garden jammed it,' he realized.

"Are you all right?" Judy asked, looking up from the flowers.

Wheelie went to answer but couldn't. His vocalizer power relay offline, energy routing to the air injector instead. Grimacing, he pulled in more air, ejecting the clump out onto the ground.

"Ewww, hairball!"

**Drabble 142**

"You trust me to uphold my side of the truce?" Barricade stated, his casual sitting by the pool freaking out the other household staff.

"You help us, no double crossing and you'll get your meeting with Optimus," Simmons agreed.

"Only a Prime can activate the Allspark to create a new spark essence," he reminded.

"Yah yah, you said that."

Mikeala listened intently nearby, pondering. 'Am I crazy or stupid? Have the courage to get in the car. I did with Bumblebee and look where I am now. Where will this lead? Time to find out '

TF TF TF TF TF TF TF TF TF TF

_***Author's notes: **Ironhide spoke using old west cowboy terms. _

_Bend an elbow – drink. _

_Curly wolf – tough, dangerous guy_

_Fine as cream gravy – Very good, top notch. _

_Translated: I'm good. Ready to fight and want a drink later after this meeting. _


	37. Chapter 37 Spies, attitude and Barricala

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews and back to the mayhem. Credit to Lunar Mist for her translation of Jazz speak. In Transformers 2007 movie Optimus said Jazz learned to talk from the world wide web. In ROTF Skids and Mudflap spoke urban slang. They can learn _any_ form or dialect if wanted though most do not, staying to basic formal English. And Ratchet, being CMO could write any language translation program or override of his choice. Any code writer, including Jazz or Perceptor could. _* Alarms go off *_ Escape of the plot bunnies! Please keep any you find. Thank you from the management. Until all are one.

**Drabble 143**

"What's a five letter word for noble attitude, first letter P," Sam asked, his pencil poised over the crossword. The Autobots nearby helping.

"Me?" Optimus suggested slyly.

"Good one Prime. But the answer is 'proud," Sam said, as Bumblebee laughed. "Ten letters. Describing something bad, wrong or harmful with little or no supporting evidence. Last letter is S."

"That's easy," Hound chuckled. "Twin pranks."

"Or major twins," Chromia teased.

"Try suspicious," Prowl suggested.

"You always process they are up to no good," Ironhide reminded.

"Suspicious' is the game answer."

"Oh."

**Drabble 144**

"This?" Starscream screeched, waving his claws over the assorted human crates. "Is what you stole from the warehouse? Where are their weapons? Energy sources, intelligence information!"

"We got it all Screamer," Rumble protested, his battle damage evident.

"This is not physicist research!"

"Physicist? These boxes are labeled psychology division. Aren't they the same thing?" Skywarp asked.

"Psych is worthless human mind prattle!"

"I disagree. This," Megatron picked up a large wood plaque in his claws. "Is fitting. I shall display it in the control room as a reminder."

"_Attitude is everything_."

**Drabble 145**

"They're not spies," Sam corrected. "Jazz and Bumblebee are scouts and intelligence analysts."

"Doesn't analyzing everything they see or experience, across all forms of communication constitute spying?" Carly continued arguing.

"Spies travel to exotic places and engage in car chases."

"_Walk like an Egyptian_," song clip played from Bumblebee's speakers.

"Had to remind me of that adventure didn't you?" Sam sighed.

"Wha's mo'e of a threat?" Jazz said. "A 'Con on Cybertron? O' a 'Con in N' York?"

"One here," Carly agreed. "And finding him in time. But you're still spies."

**Drabble 146**

Prowl let the human rave, his hologram 'listening' while he parked behind.

"Catch a real criminal? No!" the man yelled, leaning out his open window. "Pull me over for a broke taillight and speeding?"

"Your attitude is not assisting."

"Is attitude illegal now? I can commit suicide but not wear my seat belt? Where's my freedoms?" He raved.

"I..." Prowl froze, as a Saleen police cruiser sped by, its energy signature Cybertronian. Mikeala waving and smiling from the passenger seat nearly triggered his logic glitch.

"Speeder! Chase them!" The human argued.

And Prowl did.


	38. Chapter 38 Partners, lights and seekers

Author's notes: Thanks for the reviews. And guess what I discovered? Murphy (evil pit spawned slagger) has been at work! Open office counts " symbols as a word! She said this is 3 words right? But "She said this" with the quotes counts as 4 words in their writer program. Hence, a new Murphy Law of Writing. _If a writing program can mess up your word count where you won't notice until after using it for months, it will; making you think you have more words than you really do._ Can I cry now? And we have hit Drabble # 150 and the fun of the English language with one word having multiple meanings depending on the context used.

**Drabble** **147**

"Christmas lights?" Wheeljack repeated, his inventor programming onlining fully.

"They're pretty. But daddy is busy chasing the meanie Decepticons and mommy says they make the electric bill really high. And I'm too small for the ladder," Annabelle said.

"What if I put them up? No ladders and I could invent a quick hook system?" he suggested. "And solar powered."

"Everywhere but my window. They flash and scare me sometimes," the little girl admitted.

"I can adjust them to only show skyward, and not draw attention from the road or the neighbors," the civilian scientist reassured.

"Promise?"

"It will be spectacular."

**Drabble 148**

"Strife makes life memorable," the liaison grinned. "Any chick worth her measure is going to resist. At first."

"Resist? Every attempt has landed us in med bay with injuries!" Starscream screeched.

"Then grab them and make them listen."

"About that," Thundercracker began. "Seeker tradition allows a mech to secure a potential mate."

"What? Club over the head and drag home?" the human chuckled.

"State his claim with clan elders, to try for her affections. No interference until she accepts or rejects. Flareup reminded me. At blaster point."

"Prime would never..."

"He's not an elder."

"This might work."

"You first Screamer."

**Drabble 149**

"Wheeljack, stop right there!"

The inventor obeyed, his sidebars flashing embarrassment pink colors.

"We discussed this," Ratchet reminded, frowning.

"Sarah is eating for two while carrying her sparkling," he chirped, arms full of food containers.

"Not two full grown humans. Excessive weight gain will upset her and may cause problems with the delivery."

"Then monitor her and the sparkling development more closely? Post delivery, help her take the weight off. But your schedule is busy," Wheeljack vented sadly.

"Monitor? Hmm."

Later that day, in the recreation room. "You are eating for two," Ratchet smiled, handing Sarah an ice cream scoop.

**Drabble 150**

"Prowl is chasing us. Stop and let me talk to him. I said stop as in let me out," Mikeala stated, seeing the flashing lights.

"How about I throw you out? New experience."

"Bumblebee did that, when we met you remember? Transformed around Sam and back too," she stated.

Wordlessly, the cop mimic pulled over, opening the passenger door.

"Let the hostage go," Prowl commanded as both mechs transformed.

"She is my ..." Barricade hesitated, trying to remember the human word. "Lover."

"WHAT!"

"That's partner!" Mikeala hissed, glaring as Prowl stiffened, falling straight backwards into full stasis lock.

"Stupid English language."


	39. Chapter 39 NASA, asking and traces

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. Seasonal fun mixed in. And should Starscream and the seekers court Autobot femmes? Will Barricade get his sparkling? Stay tuned to _"As Cybertron turns"_ for these answers and more. Now, a word from our sponsors. I do not own Transformers, movie titles or other copyrighted and trademarked material. Like duh. Stay safe and have fun.

**Drabble 151**

"I offer strength, my fabulous flying skills and command abilities," Starscream quoted solemnly, ignoring the sound of a snicker. Kneeling, wings out and arms forward he kept his optics towards the ground. One look and his temper would go, battle systems triggering.

"Is that all you bring Seeker?" Kup asked, his tone serious.

"What else is required?"

"Name the femme," Ironhide growled.

"And why," Wheeljack added.

Looking up, Starscream blanched at the anger on their faceplates. "Firestar. To warm my spark. My berth is cold."

"I'll warm!"

"Ironhide!" Kup snapped. "You must ask Moonracer."

"Her?"

"She's the femme elder."

"Slag."

**Drabble 152**

"Copy that space station. New sighting. Triangulating but will take a few minutes to lock the coordinates down. What are you seeing?" the NASA officer prodded.

"It looks like...well...from up here...a farmhouse."

"Did you say farmhouse space station?" He repeated.

"Roger that. The light display to end all displays apparently."

At the Lennox house, Wheeljack balanced the little girl on his right shoulder carefully. "See? Bright and shines upward."

"Like a star," Annabelle giggled.

"Bedtime you two!" Sarah called, flipping the light display off.

"NASA, sighting is gone. I repeat, gone."

"Copy. UFO, Unidentified farmhouse occurrence noted. Seen Santa?"

"Funny."

**Drabble 153**

"_Promise of snow in the forecast..."_

"More like threat," Ironhide humped, watching the nightly weather report. Gathered in the recreation room, they were enjoying a rare moment of quiet.

"Welding you aft to something is a threat. Ice and snow are annoyances," Ratchet corrected.

"Really? Whose top heavy alt mode did we have to free out of that ditch last winter?"

"The ditch was deep and I refused to transform, damaging my cargo," he glared.

"What cargo? You were hauling mistletoe."

"Which your femme put to good use!"

"Peace," Optimus ordered. "My show is on."

"_It's A Wonderful Life, _starring..."

**Drabble 154**

"Are you thick chipped?" Mikeala raved, pacing.

Barricade listened, amused. 'She would have made a good femme.' His optics traced her moving form, translating it into Cybertronian parts. A flicker of energy appeared while scanning deeper. Reaching, he gathered her close to his chestplates.

"Hey! What are?"

"You carry traces of Allspark power."

"Mission city and Jetfire's shard," she admitted. Behind them Prowl stirred, onlining slowly.

"The boy. He will listen to you."

"Meaning?"

"You can help provide what I want. A sparkling."

"And how do we explain," she countered then realized Prowl was staring, jaw gear slack. "Uhm, hi?"

_to be continued..._

_Author's Notes: Optimus seems the type to regrets his choices, identifying with the guy in It's a Wonderful Life classic. In DOTM he even told Sentinel, "I wonder how the final battle would have gone if you had led it." And this plot bunny * holds up brown spotted long ears* with Optimus relieving his choices thanks to the ancient Primes or a Matrix surge or seeing if Sentinel had led the battle and betrayed them all can belong to someone else. I share. :)_


	40. Chapter 40 Age, perception and a means

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. Ratchet is ancient. Kup is oldest living in our time and Ironhide somewhere after and Ratchet too. Makes sense the medic would chose a mate more his spark age and general disposition. Ironhide could choose younger, not caring as long as they were happy. Orion Pax, Megatronus and Ariel were young when their war began, Cybertron in its Golden Age. And those in charge are targets. To survive, you either hide who you are or step up and take the hits. Snipers give hits, like Moonracer.

**Drabble 155**

"I miss my workshop," Wheeljack vented, lowering a power coupler onto the generator.

"All the comforts of home?" Carly teased.

"If you like living in an auto-robotic factory. But I refused to help Megatron, choosing Prime. Which meant leaving Cybertron. And my workshop."

"Why did you refuse?"

"Couldn't stand the seekers. I fly but not real well with rocket jets in my forearms. On the ground there are very few stunts I can't pull off," he beamed.

Flaring red, the generator began rocking.

"Outta time!" Diving, Wheeljack transformed around her and to safety.

"Nice stunt."

"Normal procedure actually," Wheeljack chuckled.

**Drabble 156**

"I am not happy with this," Moonracer grated out.

Starscream cringed, recognizing terrible anger barely controlled. Unlike Megatron, the femme facing him kept her weaponry hid. A small comfort. "Because I'm a Decepticon?"

"Love knows no bounds. Factions included. No, them outing me."

"I don't understand."

"As oldest femme I bear great responsibilities. Elita is recognized as our leader because I allow her to be. Or did you process Ratchet would rob the sparkling pod for a mate?"

"No. I never processed it."

"Least you're being honest," she vented. "Perception is my defense. Seen as younger, inexperienced. Like you are."

**Drabble 157**

"Being a Prime isn't as hard as I expected," Sam grinned.

"You have a lot to learn," Arcee disagreed, giggling.

"Indeed," Optimus said.

"Big guns, bad fights but we win. You stride off the plane, the mechs walking behind are carrying your spare gear. Elita welcomes you back, tugging you towards the quarters you share," Sam teased.

"The mechs walking behind Prime are carrying his parts for Ratchet to reattach. The ones they could find at least," Arcee quipped.

"Elita is upset and Prowl greets me with, 'We need to talk about what happened while you were gone," Optimus corrected.

**Drabble 158**

"To summarize," Prowl rubbed his helm chevron, the neuron ache throbbing. "You are not mates nor is she your prisoner. You won't tell me where you were going or why but want to schedule a meeting with Prime?"

"It's personal," Barricade growled

"And Ironhide is his personal bodyguard. He will not accept your vagueness," Prowl reminded, hiding a grin at his flash of anger.

::I'm no assassin. He's safe:: Barricade sent privately.

::And Mikeala?:: Prowl prodded.

::She is a means to an end. Nothing more::

::Explain that to Ratchet::

::He's coming?::

::Standard distress call,when I stasis lock:: Prowl admitted.


	41. Chapter 41 Snow, snuggling and Chromia

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews. More winter fun and thanks to lunar mist for her translation of Jazz speak. And I realized that Starscream and the femmes could be expanded and began writing it out. The intention was to break out the paragraph or so into 100 word drabbles. I ended up with a rough draft of over 3 pages! Needless to say, the event sequence will be shortened here next chapter and the longer, more complicated version posted as a one shot mini fic later.

This is rated T. Meaning suitable for teens, 13 years and older, with some violence, (battles and the Decepticons) minor coarse language, (Cybertron swearing) and minor suggestive adult themes. (Ironhide and Chromia).

**Drabble 159**

"Wait! No! STOP!" Red Alert screamed, waving frantically as he ran.

Venting exasperatedly, the Autobots stopped their snowball fight, waiting to hear the emergency or perceived emergency that had set the paranoid safety officer off.

"Ratchet! You're in on this? How could you?" He groaned, scooping the snow carefully up.

Optics narrowing, the CMO regarded him. "Come over here and tell me what's wrong this time."

A minute later Ratchet spun around, glaring at the others. "All right! Who told him snowmen were real?"

"The Frosty cartoon?" Sideswipe suggested, glancing over at his twin.

"And that snowballs were snow sparklings?"

**Drabble 160**

"I wasn't done pounding their wings into scrap. Slagging scrap heap glitches," Ironhide grumbled.

"You're a naughty mouth mech. Go to my room!" Chromia ordered.

"Who needs a room?" Lunging forward, his arms encircled her smaller waist, hugging her close. Laughing, she leaned against his armor, relaxing.

"Ironhide, this is a battlefield," Optimus warned.

"Fight's done," he countered, resting his forehead against hers. "My femme."

"My old spark."

"Kup is old. I'm perfected."

"Perfect for me," she revved.

"Lennox to teams. Status?"

"Seekers fled. Team one returning. Team two is busy...cuddling," Prime replied.

"Again?"

"Yes Will, they're at it again."

**Drabble 161**

"I have one of those power connector links."

"On earth or Cybertron?" Ratchet asked, busily repairing Optimus' leg.

"Earth, maybe," Wheeljack thoughtfully admitted. "Let me check storage."

Two hours later he jolted at the medic's comm message. ::Checking Cybertron for that part?::

::No, got sidetracked. Found a partial youngling frame, mini bot rotators. Realized I could make a human power suit, though small::

::How about a turbo booster to escape? Elita's on her way there to see what's taking so long:: Ratchet warned.

::Found it! Returning to med bay:: Wheeljack answered. Annabelle's new present could wait.

**Drabble 162**

"All this for me? I'm impressed," Barricade huffed, staring at Prime. Ratchet, Ironhide, Jazz, Chromia and Elita moved into view, their weapons ready.

"Though apart, Mikeala is family. Release her," Optimus ordered.

"I'm not kidnapped. And Prowl needs a medic, not me," she said.

"Your twins are more threatening. Where are they? The brig again?" Barricade challenged.

"Being watched. As you should be, by me," Ratchet stated. Optics went wide.

"No," Optimus snapped, his tone an order.

"Yeah, watchin's mah job," Jazz quipped. "Seein' ya can't be trusted."

"Your terms are acceptable," Barricade surprised them. "If Chromia comes along too."


	42. Chapter 42 What happened in the past

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews and sorry for the long delay in posting. Real life issues like you wouldn't believe. Including a muse taking a long vacation. You may have to go back to read last chapter or two to catch up. Thanks to lunarmist for translating Jazz speak.

**Drabble 163**

"Couldn' find a spark sittuh? I'm free."

"Hello Jazz," Optimus greeted, holding his sparkling firmly. "Do you process I am incapable of arranging for a bot to watch?"

"Ahh, Prime. We both know Prowler does ya plannin' an' sched'lin'."

"He is SIC, but incapable of replacing me."

"Realleh? 'Ere I wan'ed 'is job t' get yo'rs," the spy replied cheekily.

"Take it anytime you want," Optimus teased back.

"Only if I c'n shou', 'save the femmes, save the world'."

"Great ideas are never remembered, dumb statements are never forgotten," Optimus said, leaning down to touch nose plates with his sparkling.

**Drabble 164**

He opened a private chat, waiting. Would she answer? Would she share or understand? BB:: I too was kidnapped by aliens.

MYS:: What do you remember?

BB: The tight restraints kept me on my back. The table below me was hard, cold metal. I remember stabbing pain, flashes of light.

MYS:: Then?

BB:: They released me. My best friend was there when I needed. He understood.

MYS:: Good to hear. Support is important.

BB:: I have to go. Chores.

Venting, Bumblebee released the digital link, the internet connection closing and transforming back into his fingertip. ::Reporting for duty. En route::

**Drabble 165**

"Reconsider the medic accompanying us," Chromia growled, her deep killer tone making Mikeala shiver.

'Why the grudge?" Barricade prodded, ignoring the Autobots circling them.

"You broke promises. Promised to love me and be there always. Peace or battle. Didn't happen."

"Been there, suffered that," Mikeala muttered softly, thinking of Sam.

"Ironhide has never broken a promise. Not even when injured. Been late or disappointed me but never broken one," Chromia continued. "Mess up and I will break you."

"Understood. Can we go now?" Transforming down, he waited for Mikeala to climb in before revving away with Jazz and Chromia following.


End file.
